There’s something about the comfort in consistency when it comes to unhealthy things. We, as people, crave things that make us feel good, no matter how bad we return to be in the end. We chase highs. We go so high and forget how much time we’ve spent at rock bottom. That is until we fall all the way back down to where we started. That is when we use those vices to get that high again or maybe even higher. That’s how the cycle begins. That is how we tread on the path already walked.
“Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break.”
Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us.
It could be drugs, sugar, depression, or a person— people often resort to unhealthy habits to reach a high. Metaphorical or literal, we can’t get enough of it. The feeling of weightlessness is too good to relinquish that we’ll do anything to return to it. Why, though? Why do people who are mistreated go back to back to their lover even though they know their true colors? Why do drug addicts continue taking drugs even though they know it’s killing them? There’s just something so comforting in the certainty there will be satisfaction in the end, even if it is temporary. It’s because we know exactly what we’re getting.
85 percent of people who go through recovery treatment for substance abuse relapse. It’s not because they like the pain or because they want to kill themselves with drugs, it’s because of the high or the love. It’s too strong to break. And when or if the cycle is broken, the love or the desire for a high becomes less persistent, we have to struggle everyday not to return to it.
50 percent of women who experience abuse go back to the abuser. When it comes to relationships, love can’t so easily be forgotten when there is betrayal. Platonic or romantic, there is a love that builds that blinds us from every red flag. It’s easy to lose sight of our boundaries when all we crave is the good of the relationship. It’s the love that makes us return time and time again. Not only then do we have to break an unhealthy cycle, we then have to start a new and healthy one. One where we demand respect, recognize and hold true to our boundaries, and then have to repeat that with every person we meet.
There are no losses when it comes to battling with an addiction or an unhealthy relationship. There are no steps back, just moments of rest. We have to remember that we need to continue to move forward, no matter how small the step. There are little victories for every small step whether it is finally standing your ground or finally saying no to whatever the vice may be. There are resources to reach every goal. The path does not need to be walked again.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org