College is an interesting experience, to say the least. Countless factors can make or break it. However, the most important one has got to be the social aspect. Whether it be your friends, professors, roommates, or anyone in general, the relationships you make in college will be one of the most memorable parts of college life. As a rising junior, I have learned much from the past four semesters. I wish I had an older sibling to lay the blueprint for making social life more enjoyable. That being said, here are a few things I have learned that have helped me with the social aspect of college.
Make time for yourself
In high school, there is a clear separation between home life and school. That all does a 180-degree turn in college. You’ll talk to people during your classes, during lunch or dinner, before you sleep, while studying, etc. The line that created such separation is blurred in mere days, and just like that, your downtime seems to vanish entirely. It can be one of the most fun parts of college for those who get their energy from the people around them. But if you are more introverted, like I am, it will get draining very quickly. There will be days in which the mere thought of interacting with someone will seem more like a burden than something you want to do. When you get to this point, you must learn to take a step back and take a break. If you want to stay in one night and watch your favorite show instead of going out, do it! There is nothing wrong with saying no and creating time to be alone and socially recharge.
Setting boundaries isn’t just for romantic relationships
Communication in any relationship in your life is vital. Whether it be a roommate, a friend, or any relationship in general, keeping an open dialogue is a must. It becomes useful particularly in times of conflict. It doesn’t necessarily have to be anything major, but people are going to make decisions that may hurt your feelings or cause you to feel a certain way. If you’re a people pleaser, you are more likely to let it just roll off your back in an attempt to avoid confrontation, but adding a boundary can prevent it from occurring again. It can be absolutely terrifying to do, yet, it is a fundamental part of growing up. You’re not a bad person for wanting to avoid certain comments or behavior. It will give others a better chance to understand you, and it opens the door for people to come to you as well. It all ensures that you don’t cross the boundaries of others, or vice versa, and is necessary for healthy relationships and friendships.
your friends are going to change, but you won’t be alone
When you first arrive at college, you feel as if you will be friends forever with the people you just met. Though it is undoubtedly easier to make friends at the beginning, when everyone is in the same position, chances are you may not stay friends with all of them. Or if you do, you may not be quite as close as you were — but that’s okay. If anything, they can be friendly faces you see on campus without investing too much into it. Make sure you keep yourself open to new opportunities to meet new people. The time in between can be a little lonely, but don’t be discouraged! It’s one of the best parts of going to university. You’ll get to meet many new people who will even be a better fit for you. Remember that people care about you, and not having a massive friend group is perfectly fine. Keep a good few people in your life, and it’ll go a long way.
Remember to Call Home
The moment you say goodbye to your parents, everything will be a bit of a whirlwind, and it will seem as if the life you lived before no longer exists. Suddenly your friends back home are no longer next to you, and your family isn’t there to see all the steps you’re taking. Don’t forget to take out just a little time when you get the chance and talk to the people from back home. Whether that be your mom, dad, sibling, grandparent, or friend, you have to put in the effort to make sure that those relationships do not fade away. For me, sending my grandparents and extended family pictures of me and my friends occasionally is my primary way of keeping in touch with them. Liking my friends’ Instagram posts and commenting on them is also a way to let them know you keep them in mind. Small communication about what you’re seeing and learning will likely go a long way.
Social media is fake
It doesn’t matter where you’re going, chances are the people around you are posting something about what they’re up to. So as you scroll on your phone late at night, seeing people doing different activities while you’re at home can make you feel like you’re a step behind. But before you overthink too much, know that not everything you see on social media is real. One picture cannot fully capture a whole story or someone’s emotions. You never know when someone else is going through something. Social media is a great disguise to portray yourself differently. Just because you see someone having a vibrant social life doesn’t mean everything is what it seems. Your social life is not less than that of another person just because of what you’ve seen online.
Though your social life will be a significant part of your college years, it will not be the end-all-be-all. There are other important aspects of college, so try to invest a small amount of yourself into what you feel most passionate about. At the end of the day, just try to make the best of what you have!