Here I am finishing up my last semester of nursing school, declining most job offers that come along. Yup, you read that right. I’ve been able to land a dream job that offers a good work-life balance compared to the traditional new-grad nurse positions. Everything that I worked so hard for in grade school, before, and during college is coming to a full circle, right?
Especially as a first-gen Latina, I come from a long lineage of family members working extremely hard to create a better life for themselves and their loved ones. Overachieving for me is practically innate. Here is how I have been able to slowly change my overachieving habits:
STARTING SMALL
Overachieving spilled over into my relationships and health habits. In order for me to be able to say no to the bigger things, such as my first big-girl job offer, I had to start by saying no to the little things. I had to be okay with saying no to hanging out with friends or asking to reschedule. Nine times out of ten, your besties will understand and be more than happy to hang out a different time.
For me, it was also important to listen to my body when it needed a break from exercise. I am still learning how to be okay with skipping the gym from time to time. I also have prioritized movement that is enjoyable such as playing tennis, going for a walk, and yoga. Sometimes a HITT or a heavy lift workout feels a bit like I am even trying to overdo my workouts. When in reality, if I can have a better balance of both low-intensity and high-intensity workouts, I end up enjoying my workouts throughout the week a lot better.
ACTUALLY RESTING
There have been countless days where I mindlessly scroll through my socials in bed, not doing much at all. But, I still felt like I did not get any rest at all. Resting can be counterproductive in an overachieving mind. Even during periods of rest, I would find that my mind would constantly be telling me that I should instead be checking off the things on my to-do list.
It has helped me to get manageable tasks done before I take a nap or start scrolling on TikTok. Maybe I will fold my laundry, use that new face mask I just bought, or write that HC article that I have been putting off before resting.
WEEKLY gLANCES
It was easy for me to constantly take a look at everything I had to do for the rest of the semester and to try to get ahead. This only made me stress out, genuinely. I unlearned this habit just these past couple of years. I am now more of a week-by-week gal. While I can also take things day-by-day, random things come up and I don’t get to finish everything I had planned.
Maybe I skipped the gym on a busy day, but that’s okay. I could still go on the weekend if I want to. Maybe I am too tired to finish an assignment one day, but that’s okay. I could still manage finishing it up the following day. When I look at my entire week I can figure out which days I have more free time than others. I can figure out all the assignments that are due (usually each week on Sundays at 11:59 pm) and then adjust my schedule from there!
SYSTEMS OVER Goals
Last summer I read the book Atomic Habits, in which the author wrote about having systems instead of goals. The theory behind that is when people do not reach their goals (big or small), they can end up feeling like a failure. As an overachiever, I want to finish everything I planned for the day or even attempt to do more. Not reaching those goals ends up making me more stressed than before I had started the to-do list.
I am still in the process of creating more systems that will allow me to feel both productive and well-rested. So far I have learned that picking out my clothes for the next day allows me to have one less thing to worry about. Reading at least a few pages of a book before bed (and purposefully leaving my book on my bed or nightstand) helps me avoid staying up late. The thing about systems is that they can be uniquely curated for your needs and can even help you feel less overworked.
First-gen Latina or not, many people struggle with overachieving. But it is important to do what makes YOU happy. Maybe that is taking up more courses in the semester or going hard at the gym! This has been my own personal experience with overachieving and how I am incorporating small changes to move away from a constant hustle.