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Nine One-Liners from Jim Carrey’s Cray Interview to Use at the Bar

If you haven’t seen Jim Carrey’s masterfully awkward interview by now, stop reading this article and go watch it. Some think he’s insane, others think he’s ingenious. Either way, there’s no denying that this living legend just supplied us with enough one-liners to last a semester’s worth of Thirsty Thursdays.


When you walk in and immediately make eye contact with the one person you don’t want to see:



When someone asks what’s up/how’s it going/literally anything: “I wanted to find the most meaningless thing that I could come to and join, and here I am.”


When your frenemy fake compliments your outfit: “I didn’t get dressed up. There is no me.”


When a creepy stranger asks if you want another drink: *inaudible singing*



When you’re dancing in a circle with your girlfriends and a guy attempts to break through: “We’re a field of energy dancing for itself.”


When someone asks for your number and you try to reject them in the nicest way possible: “I don’t believe that you exist… but there’s a wonderful fragrance in the air.”              

When you thought it was going to be a silent fart and wonder if they heard it: 


When someone starts dancing up on you and you panic: “ON THE GOOD FOOT!” *cackle* 


When you forgive yourself for throwing up in the sink because you are totally and completely insignificant: “Nope. Nope. We don’t matter. We don’t matter. That’s the good news!”


Happy not existing!


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