Hey Little Sister,
Hey kiddo, I hope Mom has shared this on Facebook and is reading it to you now. Man, you’ve grown up so fast. You are not a little kid anymore. You my dear, are on the cusp of greatness. I remember being your age so clearly yet at the same time, it seems like it was forever ago. I remember being excited and nervous about everything that was ahead of me and I remember feeling as if I would never be where I am now. I could not wait to grow up, but I hope you don’t feel the same way. While I may look at you and still see my little kid sister, you are growing up (but it doesn’t matter because I will see you that way even when you’re 50). You’ll move on to bigger and better things. You’ll finish school, get your degree, have boyfriends, girlfriends, struggles, fights, breakups, and nearly everything in between. You will grow up to become an awesome woman and that is what I want to talk to you about.
You see, International Women’s day is today and that got me thinking. This is a day where we celebrate women’s achievements throughout history and across nations, and it occurred to me that could be a little bit confusing and as a big sister, it’s my job to explain things to you. There has been a lot of talk about women lately; about their jobs and their roles, about their place in the world. I myself have a couple thoughts about women and what it means to be one. In my life so far I have learned some pretty extraordinary lessons about what it means to be a woman that I want to share with you. You may not really understand now, but one day I hope you’ll appreciate them.
Being a woman in this world today is a challenge, but I have faith in you. Right from the beginning, the deck is stacked against us. Some people will think you can do less, accomplish less, or that you do not have the brain, the skills, the tenacity, or the know-how to accomplish anything and everything you set your mind to.
They are wrong.
There will be people who say you should not vote, should not be a doctor, or a scientist, or a police officer. They’ll say that you should not like football, baseball, basketball, or even want to play sports because you are a woman. They are also wrong. There will be people who say you should not be involved in politics, or run for a public office. There will be people that will say once you have children, you should no longer work but instead stay home and support them and your husband. They are wrong, as well. I hope you are sensing a theme here.
Most importantly, there will be people who will try to tell you what you can or can’t and should or shouldn’t do with your own body. Do not listen to them. Your body is yours and yours alone. Nobody can tell you what you can and cannot do with your own body.
There will be people that will try to drag you down because you are a woman. There will be people who will tell you that because you are a woman your place is beneath them. They will tell you that you should not questions things, should not think for yourself, and should not stand up for what you believe in. I swear if you listen to those people, you will break my heart.
Being a woman means that you are surrounded by doubt. There is a world that will try and push you down, try to tell you where you belong and who you should be. It is your job and your duty every single day to stand up tall and proud, and to show the world exactly who you are. You may feel at times that this is impossible, but every day if you remember to stand tall, stay strong and do good, as countless others have done before you, the burden will not feel so heavy. And I promise you that you will never have to bear it alone.
I promise that being a woman means you will have a strong, beautiful sisterhood, a tribe of women to support you, to build you up, and stand behind you. You will find this tribe and they will be some of the most important people in your life. Don’t take them for granted. Never forget them. Support them and stand behind them as they have for you.
I promise that as a woman the world will have problems with you and your body. Every day you will see ads and commercials promoting the ideal female body. I promise you that she is not real, but an airbrushed model designed to make female viewers feel insecure to encourage them to buy more beauty products. I also promise you that you are beautiful just the way you are.
As a woman, the world will try to put you in competition with others. They may call you bossy or bitchy if you want to be the leader and strive for a position in charge. People may try to tear you down for being confident or opinionated. Don’t let them get to you and never stoop to their level. Trying to compete with others and tearing other men and women down does nothing to boost your own place in the world. Do not bully, exclude, or ignore others. Everyone has values and it is time we started looking at people as just that… people. Not competition. We are all human. Treat those around you with kindness. Nobody has ever gained anything by being mean. We are not meant to see other people as our enemies, but it happens much too often.
As a woman, men might try to take advantage of you. They may think that they are free to do and say whatever they please. They may catcall, whistle as you walk buy, shout at you across streets, compliment your body with crude remarks in bars, and say they were “just being friendly” when you try and call them out on it. I can promise you that those are most certainly not the right guys for you, and they will end up going nowhere in life if they continue to do those types of things. I can also promise that your right guy will treat you like the queen you are.
Being a woman might make it feel like certain doors are closed to you. Young girls tend to lose interest in the STEM fields or in many cases, are not given the proper exposure to the joy these fields might bring them. You have so many awesome interests and hobbies, and you’re good at so many things. Don’t say no to something because it may not seem “cool.” If you love something, pursue it wholeheartedly… unless that something is drugs… do not pursue that, just say no!
As a biological woman, you have the ability to bring life into this world if that is what you wish to do. When you get older and if you decide to have kids, I promise I’ll be the best aunt ever. I will support whatever decisions you make as a parent, and I’ll always let your children know that you were cool at one point.
I’ll also tell you that you are just one small part of an enormous world. The world is huge and we are just one tiny part of it, the human race is a marvelous thing. Other people are not as fortunate as we are and that is important for you to know. There are some places far from where we live where young, innocent girls just like you cannot go to school because they are female. There are girls just like you being taken advantage of and sold into slavery, or forced to become child brides. I thank God every day that you are not one of those girls and that you have a bright, well-educated future ahead of you. Understand your privilege. Once you have done that, please use it to help those who are not as privileged as you. Mom always said to leave a place cleaner than when you found it, and I’ve found that this applies to life as well. I think it is our job to leave the world a better than how we found it. If everyone did this, perhaps we would have a world full of good.
So today my little sister, go to school. Be thankful for your education. Be thankful for the women that fought so that you could someday vote. Cherish your friends, your aunts, your cousins, your grandmothers, and great-grandmothers, and all the beautiful and extraordinary women in your life. Cherish your mom because she’s really cool and even if you don’t think so now, you’ll miss her when you go to college. Cherish your big sister too. She loves you a lot… way more than she may be willing to say (she totally pushed off studying to write this all for you. One day you’ll thank me.). Happy International Women’s Day.
Love,
Your big sister