Now that we’ve been on campus for over a month I’m sure you’ve learned how weekends work around here, and just how frustrating they can be. If we’re talking about partying, we all know that for some weekends it is quite literally impossible to secure invites and find rides to whatever functions are happening. Even worse is when you and your friends are all dolled up and ready to step foot out the door and you suddenly no longer have a ride to your destination.
When these things happen, it might seem like everyone else is having the time of their lives while you’re the only one missing out. Believe me, this is not true. “FOMO,” or the fear of missing out, is such a prominent concept among college students and it can be really tough to see past it if we’re feeling it constantly.
With that being said, you’re definitely not alone!
Weekends Start Early
I can recall being a freshman sitting in my dorm every Thursday night stressing to finish my General Chemistry homework, but I could barely focus when there’d be multiple pregames happening across the hall. In moments like these, all I wanted to do was throw on my ripped jeans and filthiest pair of white sneakers and join them, yet I knew my grades couldn’t afford it. To overcome this frustration I would remind myself that the weekend is only a couple days away and the homework grind will be worth it.
But what about when it is the weekend and you still have nothing to do? After texting a dozen people asking what the move is and getting maybe one response of “idk,” you finally settle and determine you have nothing to do. Especially after expecting to have an adventurous weekend, this is such a discouraging feeling.
Even when it’s the last thing you’d possibly ever want in this situation, spending a weekend to yourself is super rewarding. Giving yourself some rest is absolutely never a bad thing. We’re all tired college students and could benefit from a real good night’s rest. I promise you that the party you’re missing out on isn’t all that worth it, and there will be a carbon copy version of it next weekend.
Social Media Is Deceiving
As college students we’re constantly glued to our phones and spend way too much time scrolling and swiping through social media. The Instagram posts, Snapchat stories, and DISPO photos all distort our perception of college so strongly, making us feel like we need to constantly be doing something with other people. As cool as their pictures might come out, and clever their captions might be, you don’t know how their night actually went. It could’ve been the worst party they’ve ever been to, but the strobe lights, corset tops, and red solo cups are all it takes for us to assume they had the best time ever.
Just remember this: social media only shows the highlights. One aesthetic Instagram photo dump posted by one of your random classmates does not automatically mean they’re living their best life. FOMO sometimes does this to us, where we assume everyone who has artsy content to post is living this ideal life. But just because you didn’t post your spontaneous flicks in your party outfit doesn’t mean you had any less fun than they did.
To be honest, I always forget to take pictures of literally anything and everything, so if you do this too then we’re entirely on the same page. The top priority here is your happiness, and as long as you are satisfied with however you utilize your platforms, that is all that matters!
A word For freshmen…
By entering your first year of college you’ve just taken a huge step in separating yourself from your friends, family, and overall comfort circles, so the pressure to keep yourself busy is at an all time high. It may seem like many of your freshmen peers have already secured friend groups and are going out every weekend while you still might not even know how to make conversation with your floormates. This is okay! It’s still so early in the year, meaning you have plenty of time to navigate relationships. FOMO is definitely heightened during freshman year which never helps given you have a plethora of other worries on your plate.
When I was a freshman I certainly felt a great deal of FOMO from the get-go. I didn’t have any close friends from high school on campus, nor did I have any of those “connections” everyone seemed to have, so I pretty much spent my first semester laying low. At the time I was definitely frustrated, but looking back on it I really didn’t miss much.
Waiting for everything to align is a tough process, but I promise it will all make sense eventually. Everyone’s experience is different!
Things to do instead
Now to change gears! If you’re staying in for the night and can’t figure out what to do, here are some of my favorite alternatives:
Finally start that Netflix show you’ve been dying to watch: The amount of Netflix series I’ve added to my watch list but never got around to watching is overwhelming. So, what better time to do this than the weekend? Binging a show is a great way to get off your phone too, so you’re not inclined to keep refreshing Snapchat stories every three minutes.
Get ahead (or if you’re me, catch up) on homework: I know, this isn’t what you envisioned your weekend to look like, but I promise you will thank yourself later. Balancing classes, club meetings, and possibly a job becomes stressful and it’s criminally easy to fall behind in schoolwork. For many of us, the weekend might be our only ounce of free time and using it to get some schoolwork done is completely valid.
Give someone a call: After a long week it can be therapeutic to debrief with someone and give them a recap on everything you did. Asking for advice about your frustrations regarding this whole FOMO concept can also be really insightful. Sometimes just talking it out with someone else allows me to remember important lessons I am forgetting and makes the rest of my night a lot easier.
Discover new music: There are many albums I’ve been meaning to get to that deserve designated time for the full listening experience. If you don’t know where to start, check out Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, or whatever streaming service you prefer. Or, ask around!
Putting it all together
If you’re experiencing FOMO, I promise there is so much more to the college experience than partying. I know that might seem like the most obvious statement ever, but many of us are consumed by the pressure of feeling like we need to be out there achieving the movie-like college life.
There are limitless alternatives, beyond the one’s I’ve mentioned above, so don’t be afraid to take a deep breath, have a night to yourself, and realize you’ll be going out soon before you know it.