To be a woman is to be made fun of.
From the way we dress, to the music we listen to, women are a spectacle for others to debate over. If we indulge in feminine interests they are never taken seriously, and if we indulge in the interests of our male counterparts it is unbelievable and a tactic to gain attention.
To be a woman is to be watched.
“Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” – Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride
So of course, under such scrutiny, it is no surprise that:
If we are not valued as people by society, then certainly our hobbies and interests will never be considered valid either.
What follows is my critique and opinion of the matter of having “feminine” hobbies, which was inspired after watching this viral TikTok:
The statement of being proudly feminine
Hyper-femininity is fast evolving into an empowering force for women in society. There is something very bold about owning a style and way of living that women were once boxed into, and now increasing it tenfold because you like it and because you can. Hyper-femininity embodies the antithesis of the “I’m not like other girls” motto that plagued ’90s and early-aughts feminism, which trickled down into many of our childhoods.
Think of traditional feminine pastimes: baking, knitting, gardening, journaling, hair, and makeup. Is this what we should be eradicating to be better feminists? I cannot be completely annoyed by such a sentiment, I hear the concern of second-wave feminism creeping in — asking us, their daughters: Are you doing this because you are still oppressed into having no options? Do you actually like this?
The pivot point here is the presence of choice. To do things because we enjoy them, not because there are no other options.
How ironic that the rising alpha male complex wants a woman to be good at these things, but when she is, it is a point of shame. Look at her doing exactly what we wanted her to, doing so just proves she is weak, she is beneath us. These men will never view us as their equals. Ever.
Celebrating women only when they have rid themselves of traditionally feminine practices, clothing, and professions, is not celebrating women.
Capitalism The Creativity Killer
It’s okay if you’re not revolutionizing the world with your hobbies.
In fact, it’s okay if you suck at the hobbies you’re doing. Everyone should do things that they’re bad at.
Burn that cake, be the first person to die in Fortnite, make an unwearable sweater. Present-day hustle culture constantly encourages us to partake in new ways to sell ourselves and our creations as products that can bring in revenue. Such an atmosphere has led many to believe that lucrative pursuits are the only activities worth indulging in.
It is important to be happy. Not just productive.
Modern-day capitalism instills fears of idleness and laziness. Deeply ingrained in American culture is the guilt of non-contribution, tracing all the way back to Puritanical times when the threat of moral punishment and no afterlife was the response to not sufficiently contributing to the economy. These threats are not aimed to help the working class, but rather to profit the top 1% and imperialists who benefit from a bustling marketplace that they don’t have to contribute to.
So yes, it is quite alright if you don’t prefer to spend your free time watching the stock market, and instead would rather read smut.
the Bottom line
A hobby is an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.
Do what you want to do.
Forget the pressure of letting down your gender, confirming stereotypes, or being afraid of looking like you’re fishing for attention. F*ck ’em. Celebrate and value your feminine hobbies, as well as anything that brings you joy.