Life comes in many different stages and with each stage comes many different groups of friends. We make friends because of common interests, circumstances, and simply just proximity. In elementary and middle school, we befriended people because those were the people we saw every day, rode the bus with, or lived in the same neighborhood. In high school and college, we made friends who were in the same classes or who partaken in the same extracurricular activities. And at each turn, you might find a friend or two that had stuck to you like glue since middle school, or ones who became just a memory to encompass the moment of time. As you grow, your life changes, and you lose commonalities that once bound you two to each other. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with either of you. You just started to grow separately rather than together. Which does in fact suck, but it does happen. Outgrowing your friends isn’t a bad thing.
Changing Your Circle Is A Good Thing
As your life changes so will your circle of friends. Our friends change. We change. Friendships change. This can be a hard thing, a good thing, or a little bit of both. This is okay and as it is an inevitable part of life, as people go and grow in new directions; growing apart from old friends and changing our inner circle becomes a part of our lives. It’s no one’s fault. And there isn’t a manual on how to cope with or deal with the changes within your inner circle, and I do not intend to write one. Every relationship is unique, and there is no piece of advice that will suit every situation. Every close and meaningful relationship has been and will always be put through the wringer. Changes will transpire as both individuals grow and change within their own personal boundaries, goals, and priorities. Which causes a readjustment on who you might want to surround yourself with. It is very hard to distance and or cut ties from friends you’ve known for years. Trust me, I know. But there does come a time when it is necessary for us to grow and try to firmly grasp everything that is happening around us and look holistically at the people who we consider to be friends. As people, we yearn for love, peace, and happiness but can you fully reach your potential by doing the same thing you were doing five years ago, with the same people? You change your life by changing your circle. Being mindful about the conversations you once engaged in and changing old habits that were once fun but led you nowhere. Being around people who encourage and guide you in the direction you want to be in is essential to reaching your full potential.
Shifts Happen
Shifts do and will in fact happen within yourself and people who you once considered to be your friends. Shifts within relationships are not a harbinger of doom and aren’t a definite signal of the end of a friendship. Rather, they’re a sign that the person in your friendship is evolving the same way you are. Recognizing and embracing these changes is important as they are fundamental to this chaotic journey we call life. Trust in your gut feeling, if your gut is telling you that something is different, and you also start to notice a shift in conversation or demeanor of conversation. That is okay, as it is essential to always remember that these changes don’t mean you have done something wrong, it just simply means shifts are happening. So keep your mind open and your heart understanding as you navigate shifts within both yourself and the people you surround yourself with.
Final thoughts: Letting Go
You are not meant to stay the same, you are meant to grow. Flowers do not have the same petals from five years ago, rather those petals fall off and new ones grow on to replace the fallen ones. You are allowed to outgrow old friends and old versions of yourself. Let yourself let go of the people who no longer serve you, and also let go of the guilt that is associated with outgrowing those people you’ve once considered to be your friends. And with letting go of such things, you are opening up new friendships that will help you during each chapter of your life. Find the rooms that are filled with people in which you aspire to be and those who hold meaningful conversations that can point you in the direction in which you want to go. Life is far too short to limit your growth because you are scared about leaving people behind. Do not be afraid to outgrow people, each day holds a new surprise and you might find your forever people along the ride.