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If You Think “Ghosting” in Dating Is Bad, Wait Until You Meet A “Submarine”

Have you ever talked to someone and thought things were going great, until one day they weren’t? They stop calling, texting, answering any of your messages, and you’re left there to think about what went wrong? Well that, my friends, is called ghosting. But do you want to hear something even worse? Submarining.

Submarining, according to Metro and Mashable, is the hot new way to be a jerk in the 21st century world of dating. Submariners are the people who ghost you and then show up in your life months later by texting or calling like nothing ever happened. But the best part? There is no apology; no justification for their actions or even an excuse as to why they suck so much. They are just like a real life submarine, resurfacing after being at the bottom of the ocean.

What should you do if you encounter a Submariner, you may ask? Do you pick up on the first ring when they magically call? No. Well, you could, but in the words of the beloved J.Cole, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you.” Instead, try these techniques as told by the Simpsons:

Love yourself.

Self love is the best love, and if someone does not see that then they do not deserve to swim in your ocean… no matter the size of the boat.

Ask for an explanation.

If you do end up answering those texts and calls, then ask for an explanation as to why this person is being such a flake. Answer not good enough? Refer back to number one and tell them to kick rocks.

Move on.

Listen, there’s no easy way to put this: if they submarine you, it’s going to suck… and it’s probably going to hurt. Especially if you put a lot of time and effort into make it a lasting relationship. So cry if you need to. Do whatever it is you need to make yourself feel better in your moment of need. However, like the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

You heard it here, folks: submarines are now a thing, and you have to tread carefully on the ocean of love. A few storms and some bad fish along the way will all be worth it once you find the Eric to your Ariel, the Ariel to your Ariel, or even better: the Sebastian to your Flounder. The choice is yours. So swim on, you majestic mermaid or pirate, and set sail towards love.

Side Note: If you yourself are a submarine, there is always time to change your twisted ways.

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