Finding a valentine is hard work, but our favorite love stories make it look easy. This year, try taking a page out of their books because these methods are proven to be foolproof. With the added UConn notes, anyone will be able to find love in a hopeless place (Storrs, CT).
The How I Met Your Mother Method: Knock on a random dorm door
It will come off as a very romantic, fate-y move (not stalkery or creepy at all) and you’ll be telling the story for years. (But if you leave him to “pursue your dreams” in San Francisco, I’ll probably hate you forever.)
*UConn note: Pick a dorm that suits your interest: smart? Buckley. International? McMahon. Eco-conscious? East.
The Friends Technique: Hang around a coffee shop and wait for your high school crush to run in, having just left his/her wedding
Deep down, they are still the pre-nose job high schooler who befriended your fat sister and made you fall in love.
*UConn note: try Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, or even the Beanery. People almost always come to UConn when they flee their weddings.
The New Girl Approach: Find some new roommates on Craigslist
You definitely will not get murdered and these three random men will become your best friends. The entire viewing audience knows that you will fall in love with the bartender, even though he acts like he hates everything.
*UConn note: it is not too late to switch roommates.
The New Girl Approach 2.0: Convince your best friend to find new roommates on Craigslist
Your best friend definitely will not get murdered and you will also get to join the random men squad she moves in with. You’ll fall in love with the Jewish guy who is the largest contributor to the douchebag jar.
*UConn note: it is not too late for your best friend to switch roommates.
The Parks and Recreation Method: Take a look in large pits because your true love may have fallen into one
He may have two broken legs and a girlfriend, but just hold out because eventually he will fall for your cynical and sarcastic sense of humor.
*UConn note: if you don’t know where to locate a large pit, try that hole “art?” behind ITE.
The “Ron & Hermione”: Ask random train cabins if they found your friend’s missing toad
He may seem like a little ginger twerp who only cares about eating, but once he starts dating a crazy girl, you will realize that you were meant to be together.
*UConn note: this should also work nicely on any bus line.
The “Katniss Tactic”: Volunteer as tribute for a competition where you will fight to the death
Remember that guy who gave you burnt bread that one time? *swoon* And don’t worry about one of you dying because the odds are in your favor and you will both be able to emerge as victors.
*UConn note: many outdoor winter activities should work well for this. Trying to get to class on a morning bus from Towers is a great example of a UConn fight to the death.
The One Tree Hill plan: Tutor your best friend’s (incredibly terrible) half-brother
Sure, he seems like a total jerk and yeah, maybe he only wants you to tutor him to make your best friend mad, but once you start dating, he will turn into the nicest, most caring guy anyone’s ever met.
*UConn note: try wandering around the Q or W Centers and look for someone sporty and rude.
The Old Fashioned The Notebook Technique: Hang onto a Ferris wheel until someone agrees to go out with you and be your valentine
It’s not creepy, it’s not stalkery; it’s incredibly romantic. It is basically Lily’s “knock-on-a-random-dorm-door” but with a target. And turned up a few notches.
*UConn note: we may not have a Ferris wheel around campus, but I’m sure trying to use any of the equipment in the gym is just as exhausting and deserving of a valentine.
The “Jack & Rose Rescue”: Try to jump off a ship and wait for someone to save you
Put on your fanciest dress and act as stuck-up and “woe is me” as possible. Guys love that kind of stuff.
*UConn note: you don’t even need a ship for this one, just stand at the edge of Swan or Mirror Lake and act like you’re going to jump.
The “Breakin’ Free” Method: Sing a karaoke duet with someone you don’t know
Maybe you’re not from the same state and maybe you don’t have any of the same interests. So what? This could be the start of something new.
*UConn note: the Union always has karaoke at Late Night. Plus you can simultaneously get a valentine and cross “sing at Late Night karaoke” off your bucket list (we all know it’s on there)
Even if you have a valentine, it is not too late to find a new one!!
The Gossip Girl: Dump your boyfriend and hook up with his best friend in the back of a limo
The boyfriend you’ve known since kindergarten is absolutely not the guy for you and the guy who has been with every girl ever absolutely is.
*UConn note: if you don’t have a limo, any car will do. For extra romance points, drive over to Horsebarn Hill.
Happy hunting, collegiettes!