Ah, hookup culture. A staple in the college experience, whether you are a participant yourself or you feel like you hear about it all the time. College students are surrounded by more people their age and free contraceptives than ever before, making it incredibly accessible. Casual sex is meant to be enjoyable and easy for single folk who are looking for it, free of judgment. Right?
Well, apparently not. Women college students are constantly facing scrutiny for their participation in casual sex, even if it’s one hookup. The normalization of words such as “wh*re” and “sl*t” to describe these girls seems to grow each time we hear about it. Meanwhile, college men sit on their thrones and receive praise from others for racking up their “body counts.” As a student in a long-term relationship, I’ve witnessed a lot of conversation and gossip on the topic. Being an observer has made me more aware than ever of these double standards, making these situations unbearable for college women who wish to participate in casual sex the way men do without all the judgment and derogatory language attached to it. Just when we feel like we have made progress in gender equality, we are reminded that we still have a long way to go.
Admiration of “Womanizers”
Men are commonly highly respected and admired for having multiple or many sexual encounters. For men, sex is looked at as a “rite of passage,” something that determines their masculinity. This is why men are often shamed for being virgins, even as students in college who are still young. Their male counterparts may feel jealous of their friends who have a lot of casual sex. Women may be more inclined to be with them if they are highly desired, which is an idea that dates back to before modern civilization when women had to be selective about who they picked to be inseminated by for their genes. This history has not seemed to progress much thus far.
We have all heard a college guy talk about a hookup at least once before, and it is highly likely that his friends celebrated for him. But, it is safe to say women don’t get the same reaction…
Judgement of “Wh*REs”
Here’s where the double standard comes in. Women who participate in causal sex are often judged for doing so rather than praised, like many men. Because of the frequency that hookup culture occurs in college, this is a common experience for many women who are students. Writer Sky Jordan for The State Press explained this phenomenon as follows: “The idea of purity is used as a means to control and manipulate us into following social norms, especially gender norms. It reinforces the idea that women lack sexuality. Virginity is treated as a commodity that can be lost. So according to this concept, when a woman has sex, she loses her value.”
Women, who have been treated as the property of men since the beginning of time, are expected to be pure and “untouched.” A woman who can confidently explore her sexuality goes against that standard for many men, and even other women, stuck in that mindset. In turn, they are labeled with derogatory language for the same exact sexual acts that men participate in. For many, women are merely objects, and once they leave the boundaries men have set throughout history, they completely lose any value they once had. This logic, while simply incorrect, attaches guilt and shame to sex for women. Sex is meant to be a positive, natural, and exploratory part of life for everyone. We simply cannot give into this false idea of “purity” if we ever want to maintain healthy sex life, regardless of gender.
Ending the Double Standards
When will we realize that women participating in casual sex are no different than men? No matter who you are, casual sex as a single person in college is perfectly okay. In fact, it’s normal and even beneficial. Everyone deserves to explore their sexuality, and that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. We should learn to support one another, especially through such an exploratory and complicated stage of life like our college years. And, at the least, treat all participants of hookup culture, regardless of gender, the same. It is time for society to stop worrying so much about what others do with their sexuality, and start normalizing conversations on the topic. By reframing these ideas of sex, sexuality, and “purity” related to gender, everyone can maintain healthy sex lives without being held to a harmful social double standard.
