Do you ever feel like Benjamin Button? Is the best part of a wild night out the moment you’re finally back in bed? Do you ever seriously wonder if you’re a 75-year-old trapped in the body of a young adult? To all my fellow grandmas at UConn who are just tryin’ to make it to 9 PM without crashing, grab your glasses and check out my article. This one’s for you wonderful old-souls.
Drink of choice? Tea with honey.
Your go-to dance move at Ted’s is raising the roof.
You walk through every aisle of W Lot until you find your car.
You love the women’s basketball team.
You never know the songs at a frat party… unless it has a decades theme. In that case, bring on The Bee Gees!
You curse the people who blast music past 9 PM (which is early to everyone else, except you).
You are basically plastered after just one shot.
Just hearing “The Jungle” gives you heart palpitations.
You’re too timid to play sports in public in fear of this…
You literally just do not understand 95% of your peers.
Few things get you more excited than a plain vanilla cone from the Dairy Bar.
When people judge you for being a grandma, you get real mad…
but then you laugh it off with a glass of red.
Stay old, grandma collegiettes!