Thanksgiving Break is defined in every college student’s dictionary as “sweet, sweet relief.” It’s that small calm before the storm (aka finals week) in which everyone takes the opportunity to watch Netflix, eat some food that isn’t from a dining hall, and enjoy some family time.
Well, “family time” in the sense of “hanging with my dog.”
The only downside of Thanksgiving is the insane barrage of questions you have to endure (or avoid) as extended family files in the door. Here are some of the questions you may be ducking around this year:
What did you/your college think about the election this year?
I’m very bitter, thanks for asking. My college campus is quite liberal so, also bitter, thanks for asking. I think adults just like to gauge where the millennials stand on political issues but dear god, please don’t ask me.
How’s that boyfriend/Can I meet him?
For the collegiettes who don’t even have a boyfriend, this is a good time to stop, drop, and roll out the door. For those who do, is it inappropriate to answer, “I don’t know, he’s probably eating turkey with his family right now?”
How’s school?
What are you going to do with that degree?
Use it to dry my tears.
You’ve gotten so old/When did you get so big?
College will do that to ya. The state of my liver is probably that of a 40-year old man’s, too. So there’s that.
Can you show me how to send a text message/send an email/use an emoji?
Frankly, I’m not sure how you’ve managed to have an iPhone for 3 years without figuring out how to type with more than one finger at a time. You people make me feel like a tech guru.
Are you going to parties on the weekend? Or just studying? *insert wink*
No. No, no, no. We’re not talking about this. I stay in on weekends and eat pizza with my roommates more than you think.
Your family loves you, and they just want to know what’s going on — and Thanksgiving seems like the perfect time to ask. But don’t worry. It’s also totally acceptable to stuff your face as full of mashed potatoes as possible so you can’t answer their questions.