Why Your Past Relationships Do Not Define You

In high school, did your first boyfriend break up with you and did you try to mend your broken heart by dating every heartthrob who caught your eye? Did you let your wild-streak run and you had a lot of sex in freshman year of University? Did you explore your sexuality and then change your mind? Are you currently confused, single, in an amazing relationship, in a relationship that does not serve you, happy, or unhappy?

None of that truly matters because your past relationships do not define you.

Who you dated in high school does not define you. Who you have slept with does not define you. Being sexually assaulted does not define you. Drinking too much and fooling around with your best friend does not define you.

Who you used to be is not who you are today. Every relationship, experience and interaction has an impact on you and may change you, but nothing in your life can define you unless you let it. Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, and every minute you can choose who you want to be. You can always choose which elements of your past you wish to carry with you, which parts you want to thank and let go of gently, and which pieces you would like to stomp into shards, throw into a dumpster, and set on fire.

No relationship from your past can define you unless you allow it to be a defining factor in your life, so keep your chin up, make your choices, and take on the next trials of life head-on.

Also, just as your past relationships do not truly speak to who you are, the past relationships of your current, prospective, and future partners do not define them. Whenever you leave a relationship, you leave it behind, and you leave behind exactly who you were at that time to allow yourself to grow.

Especially as women, we can be viewed as though our romantic and sexual history is a defining factor of our person. Do not allow anyone to define you or judge you based on your past, and give them a reason to only view your present self and your future motivations. You are incredible, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

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