Dealing with Distance: Bestie Edition

Distance sucks. It’s way too often that we hear about long-distance boyfriends or being homesick from family, but we hardly ever hear people talk about how hard it is when your best friend lives 1200 kilometers away from you. 

Being separated from your bestie is like losing your mentor, support system, reality check, food companion and laughing buddy all at once. Friendships endure a lot when they are strained across provinces (and for some, countries) and I want to talk about the best ways to keep those friendships long-lasting while not losing the intimate parts that constitute a solid friendship. 

 

Communication

First things first, communicate. And not just in a text a day kind of way. Phone each other! Facetime one another! Set up schedules that work best for you to get all those bundled up rants that only the one who knows you best will understand out! Our phones are our best of friends while simultaneously being a creature of ruin, so try your best to not let the screen dictate your closeness! Get creative in how you contact one another. This could include postcards, letters, or sending packages back and forth. Your bestie will totally appreciate it and feel closer to you the more genuine you are. So rather than sending an, “I miss you!” text, get creative. 

 

Close the distance

Another great way to not lose the connection is inevitable- travel to them. Some of my favorite trips have been to stay with my best friend. Sometimes the texts, phone calls and postcards can’t make up for the fact that you just need some serious quality time to help one another get through some hardships(or maybe you’ve grown tired of everyone else judging you for eating ten times your weight and need a week of indulging in treats with the only one who will support you)! However, travel comes with costs. Money and time can take away from whatever else you may have going on, but those couple days away always help to clear the mind and you can come back rejuvenated to continue another long trek of taking things on alone. 

 

Put in the effort

Effort is another essential part to sustain friendships that are forced apart. This goes without saying, but the classic tale of relationships being a two-way street works for friendships too. As soon as one end is not putting in any effort or loses interest in the other’s life, the friendship dies out. So rather than succumbing to the expected “distance ruined the friendship”, prove others wrong and put in the same effort as if they still lived down the street from you.

 

Communication and effort are key. Whether through making facetime dates or scraping together all your loose change to book a flight, you need to remain open and honest with your friends. Too often we neglect those we care about and become so centered in our own lives, we don’t care to reach out and check in on those who are far away. Friendships that endure distance and the obstacles that come from it are some of the most meaningful friendships a person can have. So don’t get down and think ‘this is it’, but rather look at distance as a device of making you and your friend closer than ever!