Dating a Ghost

I date a man who is in his third year of medical school and I am so proud of him. But with all of the rotations and the time he spends being in the hospital on-call I barely see him. Until today it had been three weeks from the last time I had seen him in person. Now, that can be really difficult because a lot of intimacy and conversation comes from physically being with the person. It almost feels like at times I’m dating my phone, or in better terms, I’m dating a ghost.

However, this ghost is the love of my life and I’d basically put up with anything for him, and he really tries to make this weirdly “long-distance” relationship easier on me. Every morning and whenever he gets a break in between witnessing surgeries or catching babies when they are born he texts me. But of course, I still miss him every day.

Eww, gross love. I know, but it’s getting close to Valentine’s Day and I keep thinking today about how hard it is going to be when he has to leave again and how long it is going to be till I see him again. I never thought I’d find myself in a long-distance relationship, but I really don’t know how else to classify it.

I do shift work as well, I work at a bar, plus I have another job, so it’s not like I can drop everything for him because I am busy too. Plus, why should I? I have my own life and my own studies to be concerned with. Sometimes I wish I could just drop everything, that I didn’t do much so that I could help him out; bake for him, go to his house and clean for him, and do his laundry. But I think that would basically make me his mother, and definitely not much not a feminist. So no, I will not be doing that.

I guess love overall is just confusing, and if any reader finds themselves in a similar situation, remember the corny, really valuable advice that communication is key. It truly is. Even if it’s just through the phone, I still know what’s going on with my man and he knows what’s going on with me. Also, if there are issues, we discuss them with one another before things escalate and turn into a big fight.

The other important advice for dating a ghost is love. Always love. Always send love, hopefully, you’ll always receive love, and when there is a doubt, make sure to call or Facetime. Hear their voice, see their face, remember why you fell in love in the first place, because being apart isn’t easy, but loving each other is.