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We all remember the tragic ‘Jelena’ breakups in 2014, 2016 and 2018. Hearts were torn as the two sweethearts called it quits off and on and took away our childhood hopes and dreams that true love was real. When Selena Gomez released her new single “Lose You to Love Me,” on October 22nd, 2019, fans broke wild speculating about the meaning behind her new song. Selenators and Beliebers were quick to conclude the song was written about Selena’s previous relationship with Justin Bieber. Some even took offense to the fact that even after Bieber’s marriage to Victoria Secret Angel, Hailey Baldwin, Selena is still taking every opportunity to bash the marriage. Even Hailey herself is believed to have responded to Selena’s new drop through an Instagram Story with a song titled “I’ll Kill You,” by Summer Walking. 

Though it is certainly plausible that the song was written about Bieber himself, does anyone really have any right to bash Selena for creating such a relatable song? Let’s face it, we have all been there. We all have an ex that we can’t seem to shake off even after they have found themselves a new relationship. However, unlike Selena and Justin, we don’t all live under the spotlight and so our healing goes unseen and unheard. 

I do not believe that Selena was trying to bash Justin in her song. Though some of the lyrics could be interpreted as that, we have to realize that just because Justin was not good for Selena, does not mean that she is saying he is not a good person. I believe Selena’s song to be less about her relationship with Bieber and more about her own experience and her own pain. The message is about the realization that not everyone we are with is made entirely for us, even if at the moment it seems like it. 

Selena is not trying to send a message to Bieber himself, but rather to others who may be undergoing an experience similar to her own. This song is for those who are so engrossed in their love that they do not realize that their relationship might be setting them back. Often, we are blinded by our love for our significant other that we forget to put ourselves first. We feel so dependent on them that we are afraid of what we would be without them and so we put up with a lot more than we should. 

“Lose you to love me,” is exactly what the title explains. Sometimes we have to lose another in order to love ourselves, regardless of how much more we may love them.  

Tulane '23, Majoring in Communications & Sociology
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