Most Tufts kids spend freshman and sophomore year itching to escape the communal dorm bathroom life and/or desperately searching for their off-campus dream home. If you’re like me, you were 500 lottery numbers BELOW the minimum expected on-campus lottery number, and off-campus housing was completely forced upon your poor, innocent collegiette soul. (That is 90% a lie. I was also once a silly baby jumbo, thrilled to leave behind the zero-air-circulation bathrooms in Tilton).
However, no matter how you feel about living on or off campus, there are eight things that are definitely NOT okay about living off campus (excluding the heart attack of actually finding off-campus housing).
1. Rent AND gas AND electricity AND wifi
How you feel when you magically pay them all on time.
2. The Door Bell
Unlike a dorm, your shiny new off-campus address comes with a doorbell. It gets used maybe once a month, when you order some Scoop N Scootery. (That’s a lie, Scoop N Scootery should be ordered more frequently than that.) But, when it starts ringing repeatedly at 11PM, and you are home alone, and you are 100% positive you did not order froyo, you will definitely convince yourself it’s an axe murderer coming to hunt you down. (Turns out it was a confused Pizza Days guy with the wrong address…Proof that whoever put Curtis AVENUE and Curtis STREET right next to each other was not sober.) But you are still praying the axe murderer will go away like…
3. EVERY Loud Noise
Again, I swear creepy things only happen when your housemates aren’t home. Specifically, at night when you’re in a towel about to get in the shower and a random pot falls from the drying rack in the kitchen, and you are convinced there’s now a murderer in your house (again). Needless to say, I did not shower that night.
4. Cooking for yourself
If you decide to finally graduate from that freshman year unlimited meal plan and cook for yourself, you might frequently end up like this…Just try not to give anyone food poisoning.
5. When your landlord can’t come fix the broken lock on your front door
Yeah, this doesn’t help with the loud noises and door bell fears.
6. Smoke detectors
Speaking of landlords not being able to fix things, I think our smoke detectors decide to lose battery at least once a week. And if you and your housemates are all semi-vertically challenged, trying to shut them up is a group effort involving piggy back rides and/or chairs and broomsticks.
7. Plumbing
If you’re living with a group of collegiettes with long hair, this is really at the top of the list of your house issues.
8. But, in the end, you still love the freedom of RA-free life.
Still stuck in a dorm? Check out the top 5 dorm-friendly baking recipes to satisfy your sweet tooth until you move off campus!
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