Emotional abuse (also known as psychological abuse) is a mental tactic used by the abuser in order to control their partner. Although emotional abuse isn’t physical, it is extremely capable of having a lasting effect on one’s self esteem. Many victims of emotional abuse aren’t aware, or even are afraid to speak up because they invalidate their abuse due to the lack of physical evidence. Here are a few signs of emotional abuse to look out for.
· They try to isolate you from your friends and family.
Emotionally abusive people are aware that they are abusive. Even though you may not see it, your friends and family probably do, and they’ll probably have something to say because they care about your well-being. By keeping you away from those that care about you, abusers don’t have to worry about someone telling you to stop putting up with the abuse. A healthy relationship should never mean cutting off your friends and family.
· They intentionally embarrass you in public.
Humiliating you in front of other people is another way to chip away at your self-esteem. It could be criticizing your clothes, pointing out your flaws, or putting down your ideas. Abusers get a rise out of putting you down and having an audience there to watch it. Someone who loves you will never intentionally try to humiliate you.
· They accuse you of being “too sensitive”.
Abusers try to justify their actions by telling you that you’re just taking things too seriously. In reality, this is just another way for them to continue the abuse while also making you blame yourself for being upset. In a healthy relationship, your significant other should never try to invalidate your feelings.
· They try to control you, or treat you like a child.
Abusers like to have a strong grip on their victims because it makes them feel more powerful. They want to have final say on whom you talk to, where you go, what you can wear, or even how much money you spend. In a relationship you should look at each other as equals. Someone who thinks they’re above you is not somebody you want to be involved with.
· They blame you for their emotional abuse.
Emotionally abusive people prey on the weaknesses of their significant others. They make you doubt yourself, and make you feel that you deserve the way they treat you. Saying things like “Well, you just make me so angry! It’s your own fault that I hurt you.” is NOT a justification to treat you badly. Abusers will blame things such as their infidelity, anger, or even their unhappiness in life on you. Remember that someone that loves you should never burden you with the blame of his or her actions.
Make no mistake; emotional abuse is serious, just like physical abuse. Don’t invalidate emotional abuse because there aren’t any bruises or scars left behind to show the damage. Emotional abuse leaves behind psychological scars that can take a lifetime to heal: don’t be afraid to speak up against it.