This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Towson chapter.
There are so many people who say there’s a certain time when you finally get over your ex, a time where they’re finally out of your mind and out of your skin. Some people say it takes half the time you spent being with them to get over them. Others say it depends on if you both loved each other or not. But sometimes it takes much, much longer and you think that you might be insane for how long it takes. You just keep wondering, when is this all going to be over?
The sad truth is there isn’t a specific time you’ll get over the person you had feelings for and for every person it takes a different amount of time. That person meant something very special to you, and at some point in your life they shaped the way you thought and acted. They had you try new things and go different places. They held your hand, touched your hair and told you that you were beautiful… just for being you. That’s hard to let go, especially when you saw yourselves reflected in each other. The question in the end is how much did you rely on them to provide you with a sense of self?
But there are some steps that can help you get over that person, moves that can make each day or week easier. Eventually you’ll realize that you can finally let your old love interest go and find somebody who can make you happier…yourself.
1. Realize that the chapter with your ex is over, and start creating a new one. Get yourself out there and do something completely different that you never did when you were with that person. The changes can be major, or minor. Take a different route when you go on a run… or take a trip with your best friend to a city you’ve been to before. Invest hours in drawing, or go swimming with a bunch of people in a creek. Your going through a very big change, losing someone who was a big part of your life. So with this change, you can choose to evaluate other aspects of your life that you may want to change. Do you want to start going out with your friends more instead of staying in on the weekends? Do you want to stop eating out more and eat healthier food? Find something that you want to improve on yourself, and you will start realizing while working toward your goal that maybe this breakup allowed you to become a better you.
2. Don’t expect that there will be an exact day, a week, a month, or a year that you will be 100% fine. It’s ok to feel, so let it out. Bottling up your feelings won’t help you get over anything. It will in fact do the opposite, making you over think what happened and what could have been. Instead find a way to express how you feel in that moment whether it’s speaking to a friend or writing about it in a journal. Experiencing the feelings will eventually help you to let go, and will help you let it go much faster than you think.
3. Meditate. Breathing and trying to think about essentially nothing but your breathing will help you so much when you’re just trying to clear your mind. Especially if all your thinking about is your old significant other. You may come out of your meditation with a completely different thought on your mind, and you’ll move on to the next step of your day.
4. When you think of all the amazing points in your relationship, remember that there was some bad… and even some ugly. There was a reason why you broke up, and it’s because it wasn’t working. Even though it’s easy to remember all the good, you have to admit that there were some things you would maybe not want in your next relationship. Strengthen those weaknesses so that the next relationship you have, you won’t come across those same issues.
5. Look at all the amazing people surrounding you! Your friends and family love you and want to make you nothing but happy! Be thankful for what you have and realize that there’s nobody else you’d rather have supporting your back and being by your side.
Again, I can’t tell you when you will let go. I can’t tell you the day you will wake up and go out and find someone new. I can tell you that you’re going to be okay, and that the time will come where you won’t be thinking about that person everyday. But you will have those memories that used to brighten your day, and that will leave a smile on your face.