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Ask Andi: My Roommate Keeps Coming Home Late At Night And Waking Me Up! Help!

My roommate and I have not been getting along. She is constantly coming in late at night during the school week, drunk and loud. I have early morning classes and this hasn’t been helping. Please help me out.

-I need sleep!!!

Dear I Need Sleep,

The very first thing you must do is approach her about it! The worst thing you can do is ignore it!  Ignoring it will assure that you still do not get sleep, and it could also cause an unnecessary fight if you hold in your thoughts until they explode.  

You need to approach her in a calm and friendly manner.  Set aside a time and place and tell her you need to talk to her. That way, you do not catch her off guard.  If she is prepared for it, then chances will be that she will be less defensive and more open to your concerns, as she wouldn’t be caught off guard.

Also, put yourself in her shoes.  She may have complaints against you, and you need to be equally open to them.  Consider that you could have done something without knowing it that upset her as well.  So therefore, she may have not been aware that her behavior bothered you.  

If talking with her doesn’t resolve her late and loud behavior.  You can schedule a meeting with your RA to mediate a discussion between you two.  As a last resort and I mean very last, you could try to not be as courtesy as usual when you are getting up for your early classes.  I am not advising you to be intentionally louder, but do not go out of your way to be quiet.  Maybe she will realize how disturbing it can be and try to mind her loudness a bit more.

The main point is she probably doesn’t know that this annoys you.  Despite your loud sighs or constant clearing of your throat “aheem” she probably isn’t going to clue in to the fact that she is bothering you.  Therefore, you need to let her know so there is no tension and so that she will stop!

So talk it out with her.  If you start to feel shy about bringing it up- remember how you feel in the morning after being woken up late, and that should motivate you!

xoxo Andi

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