Andi,
I have been hooking up with this guy since the first or second week of school. We aren’t talking per se and we definitely aren’t dating. We are not exclusive but he is the only person I have been sleeping with. I was due for my period like 3 days ago. We last slept together like 9 days ago. I am usually pretty regular and I haven’t gotten it yet! I am not on the pill and I know we forgot a condom now and then. I am freaking out! Should I tell him? Is it awkward? Should I be worried?
Expecting to not be “Expecting”
Dear Expecting to not be “Expecting”-
There comes a time in many women’s lives that they are required to take a test with only one question, otherwise known as a pregnancy test. Don’t freak out when I say that word yet, but don’t rule it out as a possibility. Here is what you need to know so you can figure this issue out without freaking out:
The Test:
My first piece of advice is to test yourself immediately. It is better to jump the gun as far as figuring out if you are pregnant or not because you give yourself more time, options, and preparation for whatever being pregnant will mean to you.
You can get a home pregnancy test at your local pharmacy, drug or convenience store, grocery store or even Target. The prices of most home tests can range seven dollars to thirty dollars and depends on brand and quantity. Most come in packs of either one or three. I suggest you get one with multiple tests because although it is a few dollars more, you may need to test yourself more than once for the most accurate results. Common brands to look for are Error Proof Test (EPT), Clearblue, or First Response.
Other options for testing are to make an appointment with your health care provider, or at Dowell, to get a medically performed pregnancy test. Tests administered by medical professionals include a blood specimen sample, or a urinalysis. A blood test is quick and accurate, and unlike the other two forms, it can tell how far along you are if you are pregnant. A urinalysis is better for those who do not like needles or blood. A home pregnancy test is a good option to keep the cost down if your health care provider is out of state or town, and, Dowell does not accept your type of health insurance.
All three types of test measure human Chorionic Gonadotrophin(hCG), which is the hormone your body produces when you are pregnant. If you go to your health center to be tested, the health care provider will give you all the information and instruction you need. If you choose to test yourself, follow directions to a tee. The results can vary for different reasons. Medical experts say that a test is accurate when 10 days, from the act of potential conception (when you last did it), have passed. You’re almost at the 10 day mark, so you test should be accurate- but there’s a slight chance you can get a false negative ( it’ll say you’re not pregnant, but you are or could be). Many women don’t know that a male’s sperm can survive inside the female for 4-6 days and ‘wait’ for ovulation to occur! Therefore, you can have unprotected sex on Monday because you know you won’t ovulate until Thursday, but still risk pregnancy!! (This is why it’s important to use protection if you aren’t ready for a baby!!) I mentioned earlier to buy multiple tests. This way, you can test yourself and if it is negative, you can take a breath and wait 2-3 more days for your period and if it doesn’t come, test again. If you receive negative results more than once but have not started your period, it is best to consult your doctor. Likewise, if you receive a positive result- don’t panic but do schedule an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
The Other Reasons: It really is true that your period can be delayed for reasons other than pregnancy. It is still important to get tested first, but if you get negative results, there could be other reasons why you haven’t started your period. Stress is a major cause in offsetting a woman’s menstrual cycle. If classes are tough, or if you’re adjusting to college for the first time, the stress can literally affect your body. Also, things such as changes in your hormone levels, new medications, or even being sick can alter your body’s schedule. It isn’t good to rely on these possibilities, but be aware of them.
His Involvement: It is entirely up to you how much you want to involve him at this point. If you are only hooking up, you may not feel comfortable telling him of your current worry or you might not want to freak him out for nothing. It is up to you if you want to let him know that you’re late and you’re getting a test. He could freak out or he might help you in this scary time. Or, you may choose to decide to tell him after the test. Either way, if you test positive, it is your responsibility to let him know. While it is ultimately your sole decision what to do, he has a right to know what happened. Make sure you aren’t holding back from telling him because you aren’t dating, therefore you think you’re alone in this. Whether he cares or not, whether he’ll be supportive in this scare or not, it takes two to tango (horizontally) and he is involved. While you can’t compel him to do anything at this point, if telling him will help you feel better then don’t hold back for what you think is his sake. Only you know your relationship with him and can use your judgment to decide what is best or the most comfortable as far as telling him.
The Lesson: Many young women have pregnancy scares. Our period tricks us, but when it comes we are relieved and back to our normal routine. If being pregnant terrifies you, then you must do what is within your power to prevent pregnancy until you are ready. Especially in young college relationships that are furthermore not exclusive, such as yours, condoms are essential! They are the only contraceptive method for sex that also prevents the transfer of sexual transmitted diseases and pregnancy! And there is no excuse not to use them when most CC’s desks in campus dorms and Dowell Health Center provide condoms for free! Consider starting a form of birth control such as oral contraceptives (“the pill”), Nuva Ring, or the Depo- Provera birth control shot.
The Wrap Up (PUN INTENDED): The sooner you take action, the better it will be either way. You can save yourself some stress or figure out sooner that you’re pregnant. Telling him is your choice until the results are positive; but do what works the best for you. You have the option of testing yourself or seeing a doctor. If your period delays long, schedule a check-up; if you get positive results, consult your health care provider. Learn from this situation either way. It is okay to have fun and hook up, but make sure that a night of fun doesn’t turn into a lifetime of responsibility. Be calm but proactive; and careful in the future!
Xoxo Andi