By: Shayna Nicolay
You finally admitted to yourself that you have a crush on someone, only to find out that they are in a relationship, or that your friend also has a crush on them, or to end up watching them hook up with another girl on the night you decide to make a move
I’ve been there too many times. It seems like every time I finally decide “I think I might actually like this person,” the universe cuts in with a “JK this person isn’t for you, lol, what were you thinking?”
We can’t pick who we have a crush on or where that person stands at the time our feelings start to show themselves. However, we can try to get over them in the most healthy way possible.
I don’t think there is a concrete formula everyone can follow. We all have different feelings and get over people differently. This guide is here to simply give you a couple tips to try when you know it’s time to move on.
Out of sight, out of mind
This cliche is an old one but in this case, could work really well. If you don’t see your crush, there won’t be anything new for you to gush about. Getting space will help you move on while not continually being reminded of them.
It might also help to try and not look at their social media. Don’t click their Instagram story, stalk their Twitter or send them Snapchats. Keep your distance if you can.
Put away any reminders of them like photos or gifts of any kind in a drawer, or tuck them away in a box for a bit. Treat it like a mini break up but one where you can actually grow a friendship in the future.
Write all of your feelings down
An unrequited crush, for whatever reason they have, is one of the hardest things to get over. This is your Lara Jean moment. Write all your feelings for them on paper. Write about why you liked them and the disappointment of knowing you can’t be with them right now.
Writing will give you closure and help you realize where your head and heart are both at. Try and dive deep into your emotions; lay everything out.
Know that it’s temporary
One of the most important things to remember is that it will take time to get over your crush. It won’t happen in a couple days but your feelings also won’t last forever.
There will be multiple times in your life when you’ll want something and it won’t work out. Personally, I am someone who believes everything happens for a reason. You might not be able to recognize that reason yet but you will in the future.
This might not be the time for you to fall in love but maybe you weren’t meant to be with them. Keep in mind that your feelings will pass eventually, you just have to be patient with yourself.
Know your worth
Take some time to love and care for yourself. You didn’t lose anything in this situation. If anything, your crush lost the chance to spend time with you. There are so many other people out there and now you’re one step closer to your person.
Do something to remind yourself how amazing you are. Do what you love and what makes you feel good, this way you’ll keep yourself busy enough to stop thinking about your crush.
Take off the rose-coloured glasses
Having a crush usually makes us see them as someone who can do no wrong. You see them in a pretty rose-tinted light. Spoiler alert: they do have flaws.
When you push yourself to break that perfect tint, you’ll be able to see all their faults. Maybe if you’re lucky, this will be what drives you over the “unlike” wall. It’s easy to make up this perfect version of someone, especially if you don’t know them very well. Face the facts, there are probably one or two reasons why you and your crush wouldn’t work out in the long run.
Reach out to your support system
Treat getting over your crush as a mini break up; you wouldn’t go through a break up without the support of your friends, right? Spend a little more time with your friends for the next couple of weeks. Have a “boys are no good” break up style night, go out to a bar, have a movie night or a sleepover.
Do whatever you and your friends have fun doing together. This will let you talk through your feelings and help you forget about the situation for a little bit.
Above all else, take care of yourself and remember your person is out there.