Photo by Andrea Macdonald.
Shelly Grace is a fourth-year business student at Ryerson, poet, model, and inspiring woman. I had the wonderful opportunity to chat with her before she performed at Ryerson’s “These Words of Mine”, a showcase to celebrate black excellence. Here’s what she had to say:
We’ll get the most difficult question out of the way: if you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be?
Three words… Artistic, stubborn, and caring. I have to be honest with myself; they can’t all be positive. I’m the Taurus, I’m the most stubborn person you’ll ever meet. It’s awful, I hate it about myself, but it is what it is.
You’re a slam poet. Can you tell me a little bit about your writing process? Where do you start?
I’ve taken a lot of writing courses at Ryerson; lots of English and writing courses, somehow fitting them into my electives. I learned a lot about free writing and writing prompts, but really if I’m inspired I just start writing and see what happens. Usually there’s at least three rounds of edits to my poems, especially for slam pieces. If you look on my computer, there’s so many three-liners that are poems just waiting for a day to grow up and be something.
Where do you draw that inspiration from?
My poetry is very emotional, so it’s about stuff that I’ve been going through. It’s a healing process; it’s literally just me figuring out stuff in my life. The first time I ever slammed was at Ryerson and the poem I performed I actually wrote first in my head. It was about my aunt, and I just grabbed paper and put it down. I wrote it a week after her passing. It’s really just stuff like that; very much healing. Sometimes I try to be funny but those are so hard for me to write. I don’t know how [people do it]. Sometimes I think I’m funny, but I know other people aren’t going to think I’m funny, so I stay away. I don’t think my humour’s for everyone
How do you get into a mindset where you can share these personal things with people that you don’t know?
I think what was really important about how I started slamming was that I knew people in the room. I was invited by the ex-president and the founder of Poetic Exchange, so it was very comfortable. [The slams] are so welcoming, like I think at any slam, you’ll find that it’s a family. You’re very comfortable, but sometimes you have to be uncomfortable. That’s something you kind of have to deal with and get over it.
Do you ever get nervous? How do you overcome that?
I’m the most nervous performer ever. I can have a poem memorized in my head for a year, but I’ll still want to take my phone up there with me. It’s the worst. But I just have to remind myself that nerves are good; it means that I want it, so let’s go get it.
What’s one little known fact about you?
Little known fact? I don’t know; that’s strange because I tell a lot of random people at poetry slams personal stuff. I think a lot of stuff is known. Little known fact about me… actually, I listen to a lot of French and Italian music when I cook or when I do my make-up. If we’re being honest, my 8Tracks playlists are kind of ridiculous. I like good music, and my definition of good changes with my mood. And listen, the best places you can cook are Italy and France, so why would I not play that music in the kitchen? You get really into it.
Photo by Stefan Levy.
You’re a model as well. What’s one thing modelling has taught you?
You’re going to hear “no” a lot. You’re going to hear “change” a lot. And it’s up to you if you want to do that, but you have to know that there’s a demand for every type of person in the world, and sometimes you’ve got to look harder, you have to do some of the searching for yourself. I don’t really do much with my agency; I do freelance, I have a website that I launched by myself, I have a huge portfolio. You have to work. Put in your work and be who you want to be and don’t let them tell you what you’re going to be. My agency even said “oh, your measurements, your ratio’s way off, you need to lost it.” And I was like listen, I’m Black, I can’t get rid of these thighs, I can’t get rid of this butt. That’s not what I was born with. There’s going to be so many unrealistic standards for you, and why chase something that’s unrealistic? You’re just going to drive yourself crazy.
If you could go back and give your first-year self one piece of advice, what would it be?
Don’t kiss that boy. No, honestly first year me… Oddly enough, I would have taken second year off. That’s what I would have done, I would have fought for it… I think it’s really important to know when you have to hit pause. When you have trauma happening in your life, and you know that you can’t handle things, why keep digging your hole deeper, you know? Why not grab a ladder; why not take a pause? I really wish that’s what I fought for, because I just kept going down and down and down, and just being buried with trauma and all these responsibilities, and actually ended up getting kicked out of school. The hole was so deep, and I had to claw my way out of there. And it took a year to convince the school to let me back in. So I think when you know you have to hit pause, it might not be the most conventional thing, but you have to. That’s what I would tell first-year me.
So, you’re hoping to be done school this semester?
Yeah, this semester or this summer.
One year from now, how do you hope your life will have changed?
I hope to be working in my respective field, because that’s what my tuition’s for. I hope to be searching for international employment as well. I also hope to have international representation modelling. I’m going to be an aunt by then, so I hope to be a good aunt. I’m a really “take it how it goes” type of gal; it’s hard to say “this is the job I want” because you never know what the job market’s going to be like; we all know it’s crazy. Again, not going for unrealistic expectations.
What’s one song you can listen to on repeat?
Anything Beyoncé, ever… Honestly, I’m really bad, I listen to more poetry than I do music, which is weird. I’m just going to say anything Beyoncé’s said, ever. It changes though, my favourite song will change by tomorrow. As much as I love Beyoncé, Solange’s album was amazing. My favourite performer though is Janelle Monáe. She is so tiny but so powerful. I saw her in concert—I paid so much to go see Beyoncé, like I’ve emptied paychecks to go see Beyoncé on a whim. And then Janelle Monáe comes to the Sound Academy; no seats, just standing; like $20, $30 for a ticket; and she’s out in the audience. It was like going to a full-scale production, like a play. It was the most amazing thing ever; I remember it finished and I was just standing there. I forget to listen to her, and I hate that I forget to listen to her and every time I think about her I’m like “you need to listen to her more.” I get angry with people that don’t know her; can’t trust those people.
Who’s your favourite poet, can you pick one?
Myself. Just joking. I really like myself some Jasmine Mans, like the big ringers—Jasmine Mans, Rudy Francisco, Alyssia Harris. I don’t know what
Can you tell me about a person that inspires you?
I’m going to be super sappy, because I feel sappy—it’s like that weather outside, right? You just want to be loved. So I’m going to say my mom. I’m adopted, so I have my foster mom, my adopted mom and my biological mom wherever she is, we don’t know. But my adopted mom; basically everyone who knows my mom calls her a saint. She had her first born—my sister Emma—developmentally delayed, and then her fulltime job is working with special needs children. So it’s her at home and it’s her at work—it’s her 24/7. And then she had two boys—my brother Sam and my brother David. And then after all of that she decided to adopt. So she adopted me, and God bless her heart she would have been retired years ago if she hadn’t adopted me, because I’m the youngest by four years. She’s just a saint. Her family was full and she made room. I love her; she’s paid for education; she makes everything possible. I don’t know how she does it. She’s amazing.
Follow Shelly at:
Instagram: @shellymgrace
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shellygracemanagement/
Thumbnail image by Stefan Levy.