“Do you have a boyfriend yet?”
This is a common question in my life. As a single 21-year-old, it’s an expectation that I’m in a relationship.
My hairdresser always makes sure to ask me if I’m dating anyone whenever I’m stuck sitting in her chair with tinfoil in my hair and no exit plan.
My father, the worry wart, has it ingrained in his head that the reason I am single is that no one likes me. He repeatedly pesters me every time I’ve returned from a night out, asking, “did you meet anyone?”
When friends, family and even hairdressers question your relationship status, you may start to ask yourself the same. Why am I single?
As a hopeless romantic belonging to a generation that disagrees with labels and does not want to be tied down, dating is not easy.
Expectations to be in a relationship at a young age can be overwhelming, especially with February, the season of love, right around the corner reminding us that so many of our Instagram friends and mutuals already have a Valentine.
Like so many other things, dating has relocated to a virtual space, when hopeless romantics crave an old-fashioned IRL meet-cute.
On dating apps, singles who are ready to mingle must sell themselves with images. Personality becomes lost when swiping left or right is all about your appearance. Also, most users are not looking for a relationship.
Sometimes, I feel I should conform to current methods of meeting someone and participate in online dating, but it just doesn’t feel right. I know I am much better in person, so I simply must refuse and hope that someone bumps into me in the hallway, knocks over my textbooks (or whatever I am holding), and instantly falls in love.
*sigh* One can dream.
Anyway, what’s the big deal? Why can’t I be single in peace?
I am completely comfortable with my independence, but the expectation that I must fit societal standards and find myself a partner will not stop chasing after me.
I’m only 21; I have so much time to find my significant other. This is an age where I should continue to grow as an individual, focus on myself, have fun and not be stressed about finding love. After all, I already have assignments and exams to worry about.
I have friends, I go to school and I have hobbies. Keeping busy is what I know best. Others’ concerns should not be reflected on me. Instead, they should be proud that I am a strong and independent woman who is content being on my own.
It is difficult to stop comparing myself to friends and peers; it’s a bad habit of mine. Although now, I’ve come to an understanding that everyone has a different life path, and if you’re currently single or have always been single, you’re going to be alright. I often need to remind myself that it’s okay to be alone.
Lost items seem to turn up just when I’ve stopped searching, so maybe it’s the same with relationships. Stop looking, and in the meantime, be productive with your time, be kind to yourself and take yourself on a date. You deserve it.