Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Life > Experiences

The Inherent Queerness in Female Friendships  

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Temple chapter.

My best friend Kacie and I made a promise years ago that we would never love another man more than each other. We have been each other’s platonic soulmates since the sixth grade, and we know more about each other than any boyfriend that has been in our lives.  

My female friends and I have never held back our affection for each other. We never forget to say “I love you” at the end of every hangout or phone call, or whenever we think to say it during the day. We hold each other’s hands, wipe tears from our eyes, and kiss each other on the cheek. It is because of my female friendships that I know what love is supposed to be, outside a familial context.  

The inherent queerness of female friendships is something to be embraced. It affirms the never-ending support and love we have for one another. My female friends and I are able to foster our connections with one another based on trust and compassion.  

Many other women share the same feelings about their friends. Even a girl one meets in a bar bathroom does not go without a, “you are so beautiful.” Women tend to be expressive with their love and support for each other.  

For most men, however, showing physical affection to their friends is often painted as a joke, because they themselves are not queer. Displaying true platonic affection, man to man, is not allowed.  

Often, female friendships shatter the notion that intimacy should be confined to romantic partnerships. My female friends and I proudly celebrate this, showing our authentic selves to one another without fear of judgment. The beauty of platonic intimacy and physical affection allows us to share our hopes and dreams, fears, and anxieties with one another. No one is more supportive of you than your female friends.  

No one should be afraid to show affection and intimacy to their loved ones, including your friends. True intimate friendships open up an ability for us to lean on each other. I wouldn’t be able to pursue my goals, or even just get through the day, without the incredible friend base I have built for myself.  

There is an inherent queerness in female friendships, which allows that bond to be solid and strong. Continue to be your friends’ biggest cheerleader, and don’t be afraid to show physical affection to them.  

Gianna is a staff writer for Her Campus at Temple University, and a sophomore at Temple University. She usually writes under the Health section, and often covers her personal struggles with mental health and body dysmorphia. Gianna has loved writing ever since she was little. In high school, she had an internship with her local newspaper, also writing for the health section. In college she writes The Temple News and the Templar Yearbook. Her home is in Southern Delaware with her three dogs (who she misses dearly) Keno, Caesar, and Nero. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @ggvogess