Self-destruction.
Masochism.
Concepts that likely aren’t unfamiliar to any student body.
They can take the form of self-injury, eating disorders, substance abuse, or anything else one intentionally does to damage their physical, mental, or emotional well-being. Self-destruction can be triggered by the pain of isolation, the ending of a close friendship or romantic relationship, death, blaming yourself for circumstances completely out of your control, or feelings of inadequacy amongst various other things. We all have self-destructive tendencies, but some are much more detrimental than others. Procrastination and gluttony for instance could be considered forms of self-destruction as they will hinder more than anything. But cutting, drug abuse and excessive drinking are indicators of serious emotional or psychological struggles.
15 year old Amanda Todd killed herself this October after being bullied by an older man and her peers in more than one school. As there has yet to be any article, documentary, PSA, or regulation on a school, city, state, or nationwide level that has truly served as a soluble bullying prevention method, more attention should be placed on the manner in which victims of bullying cope. To cope with the bullying that she endured, Todd began drinking alcohol, using drugs, and cutting herself. Todd even drank bleach in an attempt to kill herself while lying in a ditch after being attacked by the girlfriend of a guy she slept with.
As preaching anti bullying messages and online safety precautions to college students would be undue, it’s more practical to focus on emotional responses to difficult situations. Amanda Todd entered a substance abuse program before the age of 15. Todd also cut herself in response to the events unfolding in her life. If you haven’t engaged in excessive drinking, drug abuse, or cutting, you likely know of a friend that has, or at least an associate. These are all forms of self-destruction that can quickly lead to more bad habits. Todd’s life soon spiraled out of control after she flashed a picture of her chest to a strange male online. After that, her young life just became one bad decision after another.
Being absorbed in all of the self and societal imposed expectations of college students can be extremely challenging and it’s a difficult task to undertake when feeling alone. Spending more weekends with Netflix than anticipated, or not heading towards the Dean’s List as you aspired to, can become rather disheartening. I only speak from experience. It’s so much easier to temporarily block the pain through self-destructive habits than to deal with it and try making things better for yourself. Those moments all enacted in self-pity aren’t going to make tomorrow any better. They won’t make circumstances change or relationships get better.
It’s hard to avoid clichés when writing this article, but there are other ways to channel your feelings. Seriously, you are not alone. For instance, one visit to Tumblr will not make the pain or confusion go away, but you will know you aren’t the only one having these thoughts or feelings. Writing helps as well. You don’t have to be Oscar Wilde or Maya Angelou and creatively express yourself. As long as they’re no longer bottled up, you’ll be put a little more at ease. Finding a good book, fiction or nonfiction, whichever your pleasure can help in providing guidance or simple entertainment. The solace found in talking to someone should not be underestimated. Try becoming passionate and immersing yourself in your field as well! I know it becomes extremely easy to slack off when caught up in your problems, but if you begin to fail classes and completely lose sight of those goals you set way back when, circumstances will just become worse. Divulge to anyone close to you that you feel will always support you. Your mom, dad, sibling, or close friend. Those that don’t feel we have that support system in our lives can always seek professional help and do so without shame! College definitely isn’t what I expected and I’ve faced many disappointments since coming here. I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with the idea that my college life is very similar to life in my hometown. A negative thing.
You can make an appointment at Tuttleman Counseling Services. Individual appointments can also be scheduled or you can even go to group sessions. Group sessions are focused on students that are shy, suffering with eating disorders, victims of sexual assault, black males, students in the LGBT community, and others. Remember, if these don’t apply to you, you can always set up individual sessions. If you’re nervous about seeking help on campus, there are psychologists that can easily be sought off campus.