Losing a friend can be tough. Here are some things to keep in mind when experiencing the course of friendships.
The people you’re hanging out with tomorrow probably aren’t the same people you laughed with five years ago. Friends come and go, but this feels especially true in college bumping into new people during class or grabbing a bite to eat. It’s a natural flow in life that can leave you feeling sad and questioning why it happened. Here are some tips and thoughts to keep in mind when experiencing the course of friendships.
- Know that people change, and you do too.
Several years ago, I had a best friend who I hung out with every chance I could get, until she moved away across the country. Fast forward a few years, and she reappears at the same school, back where we started. Except for this time, we aren’t best friends. We barely even acknowledge each other. She has her own friends, and I have mine. I wondered how we could go from sharing secrets to being practically strangers. The answer was simple: we changed. We had different personalities and different tastes in friends. We just weren’t the same people, and that’s okay. As we live life, we’re bound to be morphed by our experiences. Our opinions and needs change, resulting in a change in the company we keep. Whether it’s a g a gradual drifting apart or a sudden break-off, know e aren’t meant to be surrounded by the same few people for a lifetime as we go through change ourselves.
- Understand that you can’t be forever friends with everyone (there are too many people!).
At the start of every semester, I get excited about getting to know new people in my classes. There’s a certain rush behind forming new relationships and having a friend to sit next to in class. But the truth is that some friendships end after you’re not spending regularly scheduled time together. Keeping up with everyone you’ve had more than one conversation with isn’t possible. Being friendly with everyone is important, but everyone can’t be your best friend!
- Give yourself time to heal.
It’s tempting to tell yourself that the ended friendship didn’t matter that much, or you’ve moved on already, but it’s important to acknowledge your feelings, whether they be sadness or confusion. Giving yourself time to grapple with your emotions now means that you won’t be carrying them around with you for even longer. Working through your emotions can include a wide range of things, such as journaling, spending time outside, or talking it out.
- Nourish the strong friendships you know you can rely on.
While losing a friend is bound to happen at some point, don’t forget about the people you can always rely on. Remembering to maintain your friendships is essential. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to reach out and suggest grabbing breakfast to catch up. Relationships require effort from both sides, so find time to put in the effort.
Losing a friend isn’t easy, so allow yourself enough time to acknowledge your feelings and heal. At the end of the day, you’ll always have a friend or two who is on your side no matter what. Don’t hesitate to lean on them and know that your true friends are the ones who stay by your side.