Imagine this: you’re going on dates with that ~special someone.~
They are sweet, charming, handsome, funny and seems like they don’t have the sociopath gene (score!). You start dating, introduce each other to the families and eventually fall in love. Then one of you has to go back to school, which is kind of far. Or one of you studies abroad for a whole semester. Your friends tell you maybe you should take a break, because apparently that high school mentality still exists in adult life. Your mom tells you to stay with him and that this is just life and relationships are hard. What do you do?
I think what someone in this position needs to understand before they make a decision is what love means to them. You don’t need to have life figured out and all of that, but look at examples of long lasting relationships. Are you ready for legitimate commitment? Are you ready to put in extra effort to make your significant other happy and comfortable considering the distance? Are you willing to have nights alone missing your person? Are you ready to choose to love someone way beyond just the feeling you have?
More often than not, almost every couple goes through a stage where they were apart for some time. Not only that, but some people have their spouses or partners go away for a year or longer, normally because they’re in the armed forces or for business reasons. People in more extreme distance situations have been in successful, healthy and loving relationships.
Today we have a leg up compared to how it used to be with long distance relationships. We can talk to our boyfriend or girlfriend all day if we wanted to through texting and phone calls, although I’d imagine you’d get nothing done in your personal life. Plus we have the glorious FaceTime. You can eat meals together on video chat, do homework together and fall asleep together on the phone. The point is, we have means of maintaining a relationship in more intimate ways than couples did in the past. If they can do it, you can.
Being apart from your person can also be a healthy thing. You both have the opportunity to engulf yourselves into your academics, work, career, hobbies and self. Being the best version of yourself can only help your relationship. Being able to allow your partner the ability, space and support to be the best they can be while apart requires a certain level of confidence, trust and maturity. Those qualities are nothing but crucial to a lasting relationship, not just for a long distance one . Yes, you miss them, but you have the chance to not lose yourself and see if this person can be around for a while.
If a long distance relationship doesn’t work, I don’t think it had to do with the distance.
Often times people in that position will say “I found the right person at the wrong time.” I disagree. I think they found the wrong person at the right time. It wasn’t meant to be. Life isn’t some remake of “The Notebook,” but I do have some sort of trust in the universe that things happen when they’re supposed to happen. True love conquers all battles. Life will bring up other issues that will be difficult for your relationship way beyond having physical distance between each other. You deserve a partner who adds that missing piece to your puzzle. If it doesn’t fit, stop forcing it. The distance wasn’t the issue, it just wasn’t meant to be.