The tragic reality of relationships
Let’s be honest: breakups suck. On the other hand, they usually happen for the better. We all learn something about ourselves, our partners, and the way we navigate and experience relationships that we end up taking with us into the next phase of our lives. While some relationships are better off buried deep in the ground, never to see the light of day again, some leave us wondering: Were they the right person, but at the wrong time?
If you’re reading this thinking I have an actual answer to this question, I don’t. Nobody can say what the future holds or may have held for the ghosts of lovers past. The probable answer? Maybe. Sometimes we’re too young and naive for a relationship to stay afloat at that time of our lives. Sometimes we didn’t know as much about life then as we do now. We don’t always learn the skills to maintain relationships with other human beings who are just as complex, confusing, and complicated as we are at the exact moment we are in one. Unfortunately, we may end up learning how to show up for our partners, our relationships, and ourselves too late.
We can all sit and wonder “if only they…” or “if only we…” all day long, but the truth is, at that time it wasn’t right. Maybe they always walked you back to your apartment and you laughed about the same obscure TV shows, but something wasn’t working. Sometimes what we need comes when we no longer need it, or when we have emotionally “checked out”. That’s okay, that’s life. We’ve all heard the line “everything happens for a reason.” Maybe that’s a glimmer of hope to those left wondering if they just missed out on the love of their lives. However, I like to say, “everything has a way of working out in the end.” Even if it’s not how we planned it or what we expected, every path we go down in life comes with opportunities, places, and people that we never would have encountered if some not-great things hadn’t happened.
So maybe one day you’ll be sitting in a coffee shop, sipping your drink, when you look out the window to match the gaze of an old flame from a few years ago. Maybe one or both of you weren’t the people your relationship needed then, but are now. Whether that happens or not, I am sure the people you’ll meet, the places you’ll go, the experiences you’ll have, and the person you’ll become will be well worth the present heartache.