Love on screen seems unmatched. Maybe it is just that.
From a young age, we see fairytale love stories play out in front of us. Cinderella finds her prince charming, and Rapunzel escapes her tower to find her true love.
Then, there are classic couples in movies that make us swoon. Rose and Jack from Titanic are iconic, and Sally and Harry in When Harry Met Sally’s relationship is as good as their banter.
With so many portrayals of love around us, it is almost unavoidable to form an expectation of what falling in love is like. Here is what I have found to be true or false about love compared to the movies.
Falling in love is instant.
There are plenty of couples who will tell you that they “just knew” when they saw each other. Sure, this is possible, but I have found that a gradual shift from friendship to dating is more common. Friendship allows you to form trust and respect with someone before stepping into the dating sphere. After all, everyone says to marry your best friend for a reason.
You feel butterflies in your stomach.
On screen, butterflies and sparks are the hallmark of a romantic relationship. This part of falling in love is true. The good butterflies make you nervous because you’re captivated by someone and want them to like you. There’s that spark that travels through your body when you first hold hands. It’s electric.
Happily ever after exists.
This aspect of love stories is unfortunately false. Love in real life just happens to be a lot messier and more complicated than what we might hope for. As two people are getting to know each other on a deeper level, they are bound to bump heads.
No matter what stage your relationship is in, work is required. At times, more or less work is needed, but experiencing life together means that compromises need to be made. However, having the chance to debate and make life decisions with your person might be what happily ever after really is.
Love is in the least expected places.
Sally just so happens to be driving Harry to New York after graduating from college. Rose and Jack meet by chance on an extravagant ship. They seem to never be looking for love.
Surprisingly, this typically seems to be true. We meet someone in class or at work and it grows into something greater. When you’re not actively looking for romantic love, you’re more likely to be just yourself. Casually hanging out with someone doesn’t have added pressure, and that’s a chance for something organic and invaluable to form.
Yet, there are plenty of instances of online dating apps bringing people together. So, feel free to keep actively searching, but love might just strike you when you’re looking in the other direction.
Being exposed to ideas of what love is like very early on in life, it’s no surprise that we create expectations around what it’ll be like for ourselves someday. Some of these expectations turn out to be true, but others are simply fairy tales. Life tends to be a little messier, but maybe that’s where the beauty of true love is found.