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This year has hit me very hard since the very first week of January. I was carrying a sadness from long before that exploded at the time when someone special walked out of my life. Because of this, I started searching for my own meaning of life and reconnecting with important people in my life that I had set aside during the period that I was with that person. One of the most important reconnections I made was with my high school best friend. When our friendship started in 2015, we bonded over music, and in this reencounter after a year and a half without speaking, we bonded again over music. 

Besides reconnecting with loved ones, I also reconnected with myself. I felt I was being myself again after feeling like I lost track of who I really was during my past relationship. After January, I started to find, respect, and love myself again. I managed to do this with the help of my best friend who encouraged me to embrace who I am, to love myself and do what makes me happy. Music also became a huge part of my life during this time of healing. In every aspect of my life, music is something that is very present. I want to share some of the songs I have compiled together in a playlist titled encontrandome (Finding Me) that have helped me to find and embrace myself during this transformative time in my life. I found that these songs share very common themes, which can help others like myself get through these tough times.


Be Yourself with No Apologies

One predominant theme in the music I listen to in general is being yourself unapologetically. The songs that represent this theme are “I’d Rather Be Me'' by Barrett Wilbert Weed and Mean Girls Original Broadway Cast and “Two Fux” by Adam Lambert. These songs have encouraged me to be myself no matter what others may think of me. This is something that is essential to keep in mind while soul searching. 

Know Who You Are

Knowing yourself is another theme found in the playlist with the songs, “Existential Crisis Hour!” by Kilo Kish, “A donde sea” by Julieta Venegas and “Rainbow” by Kesha. These songs have opened my mind to think about myself differently and question what things I may have to change in my life in my journey of self-discovery.

Time Heals All Wounds

Throughout this year, time has been a factor that has made me examine myself and has made me grow into who I am at this moment. Because of this, time is a common theme in the songs “Changes” by David Bowie, “Time” by Free Nationals, Mac Miller and Kali Uchis and “my future” by Billie Eilish. In David Bowie’s song, he sings that time will change us, but we won’t know where it will take us. That is exactly how I have been feeling throughout this year and it is something that will continue happening throughout life. We must be able to face whatever time will bring. The song “my future” emphasizes something very important to me, and that is to look forward to what the future will bring. This is something I also need to keep in mind because I tend to live by the memories of the experiences that’ve made me feel good. Instead, I need to focus more on what I will become and my aspirations of who I want to be. From “Time” by Free Nationals, Mac Miller and Kali Uchis, I learned that by letting go of people who may seem important at the time, we can grow and find ourselves.

Be Grateful for All that Life Brings

The last theme I want to mention throughout these songs is gratitude. Every action we take makes us learn something, which is seen through the song “You Learn” by Alanis Morisette. “Audition” by Emma Stone also fits this theme because I am grateful to be a fool that dreams and this inspires me to become more than what I am. “For Good” by Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel is a pretty obvious choice because I am grateful for my best friend and what she has done in my life. She has truly been a huge part of the journey I have gone through this year of finding myself. “Your Song” by Elton John is a romantic song, but I have felt that it is also a song that is meant to help listeners appreciate the world and this song really helps me value myself. The last song I chose for this playlist is “Bendiciones” by Bad Bunny because I feel blessed with everything in my life in this current moment. I feel happy with the person I am at this time. 

All of these songs have played an important part in going through the rough times I have gone through while also learning to find myself. The changes were very tough at the beginning, but with the months that have passed, I have seen how I have learned to love who I am and who I have become. This truly leaves me grateful for this life experience which led me to finding myself.



Alexandra Lόpez Carrión

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