Swiping left or right on that new dating app you just downloaded might sound like a blast, but have you ever considered ditching the apps and committing to a friend?
People shutter at the word “commitment” in fear that it means exactly what it’s supposed to mean: forever. But forget about romantic relationships for just one minute and consider what it would be like to commit to a platonic soulmate. Someone who the only hurt they’ll ever cause you is death from laughter. Someone you can call up even past the honeymoon stage, and you’ll know they’ll pick up– no questions asked. Someone who is the epitome of a warm, summer hug on a cold, winter day. Let’s begin the hunt for your platonic soulmate.
I had the honor of finding my platonic soulmate early in life. I slyly switched seats with someone one day at lunch sophomore year of high school, which then led me to the literal friendship love of my life. She happens to be a 5 ‘9 modelesque blonde baddie who is just as crazy as I am. I choose my friends wisely, and I just so happened to make the best choice of my life that day. Not everyone’s soulmate connection begins on such a random whim. Sometimes it takes a lot of searching and a lot of protection of your peace.
The concept of a platonic connection is so underrated in the age of social media for gen-z in my opinion. A pattern I’ve noticed when talking to gen-zers is the worry of never finding their one and only– even though most of us are only twenty years old, and barely know how to make a grilled cheese without burning at least one side of the bread. Time is something that should never be wasted, but why don’t we fill that time with meaningful relationships we know will heal our hearts instead of hurting them? And no, this doesn’t refer to the random Tinder hookup you had last weekend. I’m talking about your real life friends who will definitely give you more than that Tinder hookup ever did; because let’s be honest, you deserve more than barely coming close to an orgasm and having to walk home in your clothes from last night…
Once you start putting your friends first, the love of a platonic connection will begin to conjure right before your very eyes. Get to know your friends like you do that Tinder bio. Learn about their interests, what they hate, what they love, what they can’t stand, and what makes them laugh so hard that they can barely stand! All of this will come very naturally and so will the realization that you have found your platonic soulmate. My best friend and I admit it to each other all the time now, but I will never forget that moment when we just knew. It was the feeling that we had always been breathing in sync, walking the same steps, and thinking the exact same things. The beginning of a platonic friendship is that true realization that you are mine and I am yours, but who’s going to be the first one to say something… Is it me? Is it you? Who cares? Because you will just know, and it will be the beginning of everything you had hoped for in a romantic relationship- just a lot more gossiping, which is always a plus.
The next best thing you can gain from a platonic relationship is the trust and reliability a friendship can offer you. There is not a moment where I doubt my best friend. And I know for a fact there is not a moment she doubts me. There is an unspoken trust that was created between the both of us. It could be our incredible connection, or the fact that we are constantly encouraging each other’s erratic, unhinged behavior (I personally think it’s the latter half). But the important part is that this trust is never questioned. I’ve come to learn that this is a rarity in romantic relationships. The right one, friendship or partner, will earn your trust and keep it that way. They will protect that trust just as they would want their own trust protected.
There’s one last lovely thing about friendship that is often overlooked along with the whole idea of friendship itself – the easiness. Relationships aren’t always easy, but good relationships feel easy even when they appear not to be. To explain further, address an issue if there is one, but the ease and confidence in addressing it is what makes that platonic relationship so easy. There’s a breath of fresh air when you see their face. It’s a love that comes naturally and effortlessly, as I have previously implied. The ease and comfort of being in their presence is enough for you to know they’re the friend meant for you. So no, the freshman year roommate who subtly puts you down every chance she gets isn’t the one for you. Try again next time… and maybe not with that self-obsessed girl from high school either. It’s just not worth it.
The bottom line happens to be that you should never settle for anything less than you deserve. Someone who will give you trust, mutual love, and a comfort to everyday life. The friend who ooouuus and awwws at you in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. The friend who stays up with you until all ends of the night talking about anything and everything. That’s the one. Someone should seriously create a dating app designed for friendships because that would be the coolest thing ever. So ditch the date, and go take your friend out. Commitment doesn’t sound so scary now, does it?