I get it, it seems everyone has that “someone” they can lean on during these trying times, but some of us are single as hell. I know I am. I broke up with my ex back in July because the relationship had just run its course. It was tough getting past the break-up. I didn’t have someone to snuggle and go on adventures with anymore. I was alone. But, I am still alone and thriving! I don’t know how I got here, but I am here. Relationships are draining sometimes, especially if your partner is the one to cause that feeling. So, how am I making it by, single and on my own during a pandemic?
First, I cut off a lot of contact with my ex. I knew from the get-go, that if I wanted to stand on my own two feet during this pandemic, I needed my space. I needed time to heal. This all helped in the process of getting used to being single during a pandemic. I stopped talking to him, and un-added his social media. I felt better after maybe a month. No longer did I have the idea of what if this and what if that when my mind hated being alone.
Being alone and choosing not to date also results from the fact that I got sick and tired of guys on Tinder and Hinge really fast. They were boring and frankly, dumb. I just wanted to go on a cute date (something my ex of one year never really did for me). During a pandemic, I thought that a cute date was exactly what I needed to not feel alone. Come to find out, that was not what I needed. Two or three guys asked me on a date and I still said no, so it left me with the impending question: if I am so alone, why am I rejecting these guys?
The conclusion was that I needed time for myself. My practices in my own life have shown just that. I take time out of the day to make myself a nice breakfast in the morning as well as make sure my bed is made well for the day. Even the simplest thought of how I will dress makes me feel loved. I feel loved because I am loving myself. I am taking time out of the day to put on some make-up, dress myself up with jewelry and so on. This has made me feel less alone. The love I have for myself has enveloped me into a better existence.
I do have my bad days and nights where I wish I had a man to cuddle with me and tell me it will be alright, but that just isn’t real life, especially right now. Right now being during a pandemic and being in my twenties, I know that this is the time I need to push myself to achieve greater things. I remind myself on a day-to-day basis, Mer you are the only one who will push you to have a better life. So, no matter how crappy things seem and how alone I may feel, I truly just keep my interests at heart, because I will always love myself. I have started to dive into my work a lot. I’m writing, producing, creating, and so on. I don’t have time to escape into a pity-party where I dwell on why a man isn’t by my side. The answer is: I don’t need one. This pandemic has thickened my skin to a point where I know I can do what I need to do whether I have a partner or not.
I think it is “on trend” to think this way these days, where we all lift eachother up with the thought of, I don’t need any man (or any kind of partner). Truth is, we aren’t all as independent as our inner feminists would like to think, especially during this pandemic. Even I have my moments. That’s why during this pandemic I have surrounded myself with my small group of friends, honed in on my career and school work, and taken to some hobbies I had set aside for awhile. Even though the pandemic has made me feel even more alone, I know that I am building my independence within every aspect of my life. These battles don’t come my way or yours for no reason. It’s so that when we are ready for the one, we can be confident in who we are, share that person with them, and still live a life that is your own. So thank you pandemic, I think being alone for the time you are here will pay off one day.