Love. Falling in love. Actually being in love. The absolute avalanche of a journey that the course of love takes often feels one-sided to romantic partnerships. I’ve found that tumbling off the path of the honeymoon phase can sometimes be put back on track by the five love languages. So why not use those same five love languages to reconnect with your friends?
As a junior year student handling more than she probably should, it’s a whirlwind of insanity trying to keep all my priorities straight. And from speaking to other juniors, I know I’m certainly not alone. Things often gracefully slip my mind; and only until the realization that I have forgotten them, does it hit me smack in the face, leaving a scar I’m sure not to forget. Although these forgotten duties won’t matter in five months- meaning I should not even be spending more than five minutes worrying about it- my mind isn’t so forgiving. Being preoccupied with the difficulties of a college life, studying the steady rhythm of my overflowing schedule, and juggling the endless stream of obligations that comes with being a full time student clouds my mind… but what about my friends? What about the people in my life who make all these responsibilities appear just a bit easier?
Sometimes I feel like I forget how much smoother of a life I live because of these people. How they offer the ultimate detour from the sometimes-disastrous moments of everyday life. So here are five ways I remind myself, via the five love languages, of the promising effects that having good friends in my life grants me. Because love certainly applies to much more than romance.
Gift Giving
Gifts are not everything, but showing someone I truly know them is. They can be as simple as a snack from the corner store or something that says: “this reminded me of you.” But gifts don’t have to have any monetary values to them. Gifts can be your time. Gifts can be your energy. Gifts can be a walk in the city.
Quality Time
The most underrated love language of all time, in my opinion. Quality time is making sure I set aside time to not only let my friends hear me but for me to actively listen to them about their days or their lives. Making sure time is made for coffee runs, bookstore adventures, or Center City travels, grants me a moment of peace from life back at school. It provides me with the quality time I need to reconnect with those closest to me, but also to make sure my friends feel seen and heard too.
Physical Touch
Who says you can’t cuddle with your friends? This is all personalized to certain people’s boundaries, but I know some of my friends love to be hugged. A familiar embrace can go a long way in making people feel loved and supported. While I am not the biggest hugger, having friends around who are embraces this form of connection and teaches me more ways to feel connected to them. When words aren’t enough, a hug or a head on a shoulder can speak volumes.
Acts of Service
That dirty pot that’s been sitting in the sink? Who has time to clean that anyway? Something as quick as picking up after your friends (obviously within reason… sorry to those of you who have dirty roommates) helps me communicate that I am 100% there for them when things are tough.
Knowing my friends feel supported by me, and knowing I feel supported by them, helps me establish a healthy relationship with them and myself. I not only feel more confident and more connected, but I also feel safer in the spaces my friends and I share.
Words of Affirmation
Not complimenting a friend is a crime. As someone who has been around that type of energy, the feeling it left me with was truly upsetting. I felt alone. I felt like the one blur in her line of vision. While actions may speak louder than words, language is a powerful tool in any relationship that builds trust and reconnection. This may be the easiest love language of them all. If I think something, I say it (once again within reason). People deserve to know when they look good. Friends deserve to be recognized; and in turn, this recognition spreads a love like no other.
Love is a special thing that is begging to be used. Love is my beating heart when I see the people who give my life purpose. Love is meant to be spread through any type of language, so my friends can be reminded of why they are my friends.