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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TCU chapter.

I consider myself a driven person. I work hard in school pursuing multiple majors. I maintain two jobs. I participate in sports and clubs and campus social events. My life is jammed packed with passions. And I like it that way. These components of my life bring me joy and success, so I understand the amount of dedication required to maintain it all.

That being said, college especially is an exceptionally busy time in your life. It’s all about trying new things and exploring the possibilities of what you’re capable of achieving. One day, after signing up for a million clubs, jobs, and classes, you’ll look at your schedule and think, oh crap. Because time slips away from you fast, and managing your time becomes a life skill you desperately need to master.

You have to figure out your priorities in life. Your mind begins to do the mental math of dividing your time among your obligations while still setting aside space for your personal relationships.

Here’s where I get to spill the tea, so buckle in.

Girl meets boy. They like each other but break it off. Fast forward a year. Boy pursues girl. Boy kisses girl (not the other way around, that’s important). Girl likes boy again. Girl dares to ask boy out. Boy ghosts her for three weeks. Girl confronts him. Boy ends the situationship he started because (and I quote) he “doesn’t have the capacity in his life for a relationship”. In other words, he’s “too busy”.

He asked me what my biggest pet peeve was once, but I couldn’t conjure an answer for him then. Now, I know without a doubt that it’s using busyness as an excuse.

“I’m too busy” is a cowardly way out of relationships. I firmly believe that if you want someone in your life, whether that’s as a friend or in a romantic capacity, you make intentional time for them. It’s a challenge, of course, life is complicated. Seconds slip into minutes slip into hours and suddenly weeks of your life have passed you by while you had your head down plowing through your to-do list.

This slippage happens to the best of us, and I’m not criticizing our momentary lapses in commitment. I’m talking about a specific type of person.

I’m sure you know the personality: charismatic, friendly, loud, the kind of person who has a distinct presence in a crowded room. Everyone knows them. It feels like they’re friends with everyone they meet. It’s not exactly a middle-school kind of popular, but more of a general assumption that “Oh yeah, that guy? I know him. Man, he’s everywhere“. It’s a good thing. Being involved is good. Being known for dedication and kindness is good. But here’s the real, honest truth that I don’t want you to shy away from.

That person doesn’t have the time for anything beyond a flashy, surface-level smile. If you aren’t tied to them by obligation, like a shared class or an executive board, odds are you’re a side piece to their Google Calendar spread. And from my experience (and the experiences I’ve gleaned from others close to people like this), the lack of intention is felt. Brushing your teeth next to your roommate at night because you share a sink doesn’t count toward intentional time spent with your friend. Mandatory overlaps in a work schedule don’t equate to purposeful conversations. Texting to complain about your own day while ignoring the needs of the person on the other end is not friendship, it’s an unpaid therapy session.

It’s painful to feel unwanted. It’s hard to feel like you fall second, third, or farther down on someone’s list when you’ve put them at the top of yours. As previously mentioned, I’m a busy person too. I not only value but encourage passion and hard work. Drive is attractive. Motivation is telling. But your relationships are what define your life at the end of the day. Your friends, family, and partners keep you uplifted, support your dreams, and comfort you when you realize those dreams are temporary. They cease when you wake up. Then you roll over and remember that the person in your bed is alive and real and lasting. That’s a person you make time for, no matter how busy you are.

Being “too busy” is not a matter of poor time management; it’s a true lack of willingness to make time for a specific person. If someone is too busy for you, they’re not protecting you from neglect or doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Deep down, it’s not because they don’t have enough time to go around, it’s because they don’t have enough time for you.

This leads me to a few things. 1. Naturally, you’re not expected to accommodate everyone and everything in your life. Relationships take work. It would be impossible to perfectly maintain all of them. Boundaries around your relationships are important, but clear communication is equally vital to prevent people from being hurt by expectations. 2. That being said, if you actually want someone in your life, no amount of booked scheduling should keep you from them. If they’re worth your heart, they’re worth your time, plain and simple. 3. Just because someone is “too busy” for you, doesn’t mean you’re not worth all the time of the busiest person in the world. I promise you are.

Most of us are busy people! We function non-stop all day. For many of us, there will never be a point in our life that slows down to a palatable pace. There will always be something we need to get done, someplace we need to be, some project due, or some conflict we need to manage. That’s just life. Those are just the facts.

And the fact is, you’re never “too busy” for the right people.

There’s no shame in knowing your worth, and if someone consistently doesn’t have time for you or doesn’t bother to make time, they’re certainly not worth any of yours.

Until next time…

Colleen Wyrick is President of the Her Campus at TCU chapter. She enjoys writing about current pop culture events, female empowerment, and her latest book/TV interest. She loves her role and connecting with new members! Colleen is an aspiring writer/editor/publisher/professor and is a junior (*sigh*) at Texas Christian University studying English and Communication. In addition to Her Campus, she contributes to academic publications for the English Department and works for TCU’s social media team. She is very passionate about books, Marvel, chocolate, soccer, and all things comfortable. You can find her doing anything and everything because she loves new adventures!