I thoroughly believe that social media will never let me just be. Every day, I wake up and scroll around on various platforms, and influencers take their time to tell me about everything that’s wrong in my life. I sleep in too late and my skincare is missing some miscellaneous acid and I shouldn’t be washing my hair every other day (or should I?). It’s exhausting, truthfully. I never imagined I could be constantly committing so many little errors.
Then, the de-influencers arrived. Normal people (or so it seemed) flooded my page, encouraging me to take things a little bit at a time. They began recommending cheaper products, easier fixes, and approachable changes. It felt like perhaps my feed was becoming more relatable. Maybe other people had unhealthy habits that they justified too, or maybe our lives were simply a combination of tolerable mistakes underlying our successes.
But no media is innocent. Many of those faces were just shaming me in subtler ways, jabbing at my habits with less identifiable force. I knew, deep down, that there were probably (certainly) small things about my life that I could change to make it healthier, but it all just felt so overwhelming. How can I ever reach a perfect balance? How could I listen to so many differing opinions?
It took me some time, and honestly, I’m still taking time day by day to figure things out, but I think I’ve developed some small habits that have actually helped my life. It’s a combination of my own needs and suggestions that I’ve seen online, but I do believe they’re beneficial in some way or another. Here is a list of small habits I’ve been trying to implement in my own life. Hopefully, you find this list more approachable than the videos you find on social media and feel free to pick and choose from (or ignore) anything on this list.
- Wash your hair when it’s greasy
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Whether this is every day for you, every other day, every few days, or once a week, just wash your hair when it feels gross. I can push mine 2-3 days AT MOST. Your individual hair type and lifestyle have so many impacts on this. I’m fairly active and I hate letting sweat sit in my hair, so I make sure to wash it on heavy cardio days. There’s no secret all-encompassing science to shampooing. Trying to train your hair beyond its limits will only make your scalp uncomfortable, oily (or dry), and harm the skin on your face and neck.
- Read before bed
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I know this can be a hard one. I have a habit of watching TikTok for 30 minutes to an hour before I fall asleep, but that time before my head hits the pillow is really some of my only “me time” during the day. And I missed reading for fun. So I told myself that when I crawled into bed, I would crack open a book and read a chapter instead of scrolling. It’s hard and I don’t always follow this rule. But I did begin to sleep better when I wasn’t screen-oriented at night. Plus, I finished a book in my free time without a crazy amount of effort!
- Move or stretch daily
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I honestly have never struggled in committing to some form of daily activity, but I’m certainly not the level of athlete I once was. College has brought me down a bit on the fitness peg (that’s expected when you’re no longer pulling 6 practices and 2-3 soccer games a week FYI). I’ve been trying to build a positive relationship with working out when it’s purely self-motivated, and one deal I made with myself is to move or stretch every day. Whether it’s a heavy gym session, a club soccer practice, a long walk in the sunshine, or ten minutes of abs or pilates in my dorm room, I try to be committed to some intentional movement. The key for me is to follow what I’m feeling and remind myself that I’m not training to be judged. If I’m sore, I stretch. If I need to burn energy, I run. Whatever movement works for you works.
- The power of matching shoes and jewelry
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I don’t like to put a lot of effort into my outfits, but I DO appreciate looking cute. Two of the easiest and most effective tips I follow are to match my jewelry and my shoes. I’m a gold girl, so when I wear jewelry I try to make sure it is all in a matching shade of gold (no mixing white and yellow). Bonus points if any gold detailing on your purse or other accessories (like a belt) matches your jewelry shade. It’s very subtle but it makes your outfit stand out. Along with that, I bought some cute, comfy tennis shoes in white, purple, black, and a neutral skin tone shade. These four colors cover most of my wardrobe, and I make it a point to choose shoes that match my top or some facet of my outfit. It’s just another small fix that brings a casual outfit up a notch.
- No Makeup Musts
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I would love to be a makeup lover, but my skin fights me on that point. So for the sake of my acne, I need to keep things simple, clean, and cheap. But really the best route is to avoid makeup at all when I can. Here are a few small no-makeup tricks that I love that help me feel put together. First, pluck your eyebrows. I know. It’s scary, it’s even a little painful. If you pluck one wrong hair… disaster. But it’s truly not so intimidating and a little bit of shaping goes a long way. Second, buy an eyelash curler. I virtually quit wearing mascara after I started curling my lashes regularly. They $10 ones at Target work just fine. Third, some form of green tinted or red balancing layer. For me, I have a green putty primer and a redness fighting powder. It’s not heavy makeup and I make sure to buy acne-safe versions, but sometimes all you need is some skin tone balance, not a full face. Lastly, whatever your skincare routine is, try to keep it consistent. Work within one brand, consult with your dermatologist, and rely on a good moisturizer.
- Calendar of Bests
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This is one habit that I started in the new year. I won’t call it a resolution because I didn’t directly declare it, but one of my friends gifted me a Ted Lasso calendar for my birthday. If you know Ted Lasso, the heartwarming show about soccer (and so much more), you know that Coach Lasso is the most positive, likable guy in the world. I decided that to honor Ted, I would use the calendar to document my favorite part of each day before I went to bed. I take a pen and write down a fun memory to 1. Practice recognizing positivity and things I can be grateful for and 2. Have sweet memories to look back on at the end of the year. I highly recommend something small like this to practice thankfulness without the commitment of journaling.
- Know your love language
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Most of you probably already know your love language(s). In all likelihood, you try to implement them into your romantic relationships. But these love languages are also so important for friendships and self-care. For me, quality time and physical touch are super important, so I know that when I’m feeling down, I need to turn to activities that honor those love languages. I’ll take a long “everything” shower and read a book if I’m by myself. But if I can, I’ll sit and just do homework with busy friends or steal a hug from someone. Valuing your love language needs when trying to cheer yourself up will be so much more fulfilling than some generic self-care list.
- Set small boundaries
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Lastly, it’s so important to practice setting small boundaries with yourself and others regarding your personal needs and goals. For me, this came in the form of becoming comfortable with “No, thank you” as a full sentence. It might look different for you. But making a mental note to remind yourself of what you need and want is vital to taking real steps towards bettering your life. They can be secret boundaries (no need to share them with everyone if you’re more private) but be willing to hold yourself accountable.
Again, these are simply small things that have worked for me. I encourage you to take inspiration from them if you would like, but the ultimate point is to be more introspective and take the best steps for YOU toward creating positive change in your own life. Remember, start small and stay consistent. You’ll grow more easily from well-watered roots.