When graduating high school last May, my boyfriend and I had a choice: break up or try long-distance (since we’d be attending schools 10 hours away from each other). This decision was not easy for us because we both wanted the “college life.” At the end of the day, we decided we wanted to try long-distance. And, after all this time, we are still together. I thought readers would enjoy hearing about a long-distance relationship from a non-writer POV, so I decided to interview my boyfriend to ascertain his thoughts about maintaining a relationship while apart. Shoutout to all those doing long-distance because it is not for the weak. Here is the interview; I hope you find it insightful but also funny.
Me: What’s your name?
Henry: Henry.
Me: Who are you to me?
Henry: I’m Katie’s (me) girlfriend of 3 years and 1.5 days.
Me: Why did we decide on long-distance/why we did not go to the same school?
Henry: I thought breaking up would be dumb. We already put a lot of years into the relationship, and the only reason for breaking up would be because we were going away, and we both decided that we wanted to try long-distance out. I wanted to go to separate schools because I thought we were strong enough to go through college together. I wanted us to attend schools that benefited us as individuals as much as possible. Academically, the best schools for us were far apart, so we decided to go individually to receive the best outcomes.
Me: Do you think everyone can do long-distance?
Henry: No, it’s not the type of relationship but the people in it that make or break it. Some people need to be with their partner 24/7, and we aren’t like that.
Me: What are some of the pros of long-distance relationships?
Henry: It’s a lot deeper and more intentional of a relationship since we have to trust each other with everything, and we have to put in the effort to make it work. You need a lot of trust-building that regular relationships don’t have.
Me: What are some of the cons of long-distance relationships?
Henry: I guess you don’t see each other as often. It’s easy to be led astray from the relationship because the person is less tangible. Seeing your partner through a phone is not the same as seeing them in person, and we both knew that. Making long-distance work requires a deep relationship. It’s harder to keep trust when you’re so far apart. It can also lead to temptations; I don’t necessarily mean cheating but struggling to put each other first.
Me: Why do you think we’ve been able to make long-distance work while other couples haven’t?
Henry: I am a bread person, and you are a soup person, and we just go together. (Writer’s note: I have absolutely no idea what he means.) A lot of people could make it work if they want it enough. It is really the outlook on it; we are looking at this distance knowing it is going to be better for our future and success. We are focusing on the long-term goal instead of the present. Also, we were together for two years before college, so we already had a good understanding of one another, which makes it easier to communicate when we are 10 hours apart.
Me: Do you have any takeaways from maintaining a long-distance relationship?
Henry: We succeed because, together, we are better than the cons. It is all about making each other a priority even though we have distance between us. We must be focused on the relationship and know this is not forever. This is just a step to get us to the next level.