Maintaining a balance of school and relationships in college is not always an easy task. A few weeks before I started college, my best friend decided to take our relationship to the next level. This was an exciting and happy time for me, but as move in day approached, I became nervous about what the future held for us. Our daily lives were packed with classes, meetings, and extra-curricular. How would we make time for each other? How do we maintain our relationship while still focusing on all the other aspects of our lives? These are all questions that every long distance couple faces their first year of college. As we went through our first semester, we realized that although it would require work, living our separate school lives and making time for each other would not be as difficult as expected. Here are four things that LDR’s require: Prioritization, Trust, Communication, and Planning.
Prioritization
In an LDR, prioritizing is a must because as much as you love your boyfriend, he is only one aspect of your life. There are other, more immediate, aspects such as grades, family, and even your own personal life apart from him. If you let your life revolve around your relationship, other aspects in your life will be affected, and eventually, even your relationship will be affected. But at the same time, you’re not always going to be his first priority, and you need to understand and accept that. Sometimes, his silence may be disheartening, but he is also busy with his daily life. Learn when it’s okay for your relationship to come first and when school or family needs to come before.
Trust
Being apart, especially in such an early stage of my relationship, was very difficult at first. I felt like I needed to know who his friends were and what he was doing all the time, but I learned that this was not healthy. Instead, I learned to trust him and all he did. Trust that, although he has his own life, his own friends, and his own problems to deal with, at the end of the day, he will still love you as much. Sometimes, you may want to constantly know what he is doing, where he is, and why he isn’t talking to you but overthinking this is very unhealthy. A long distance relationship, though not ideal, helps strengthen your relationship with trust and patience.
Communication
Communication is a vital part to any kind of relationship but especially a long distance one. Understand that you will not be able to text all day and that replies may not come as quickly as you want them to. Don’t take this as a sign that the relationship isn’t working; you both have different daily schedules. Personally, I find phone calls more satisfying and easier than texting. Within a phone call, you can get the equivalent of a whole day’s worth of texting and you also get to hear each other’s voices. Also, fitting in at least one FaceTime or Skype date a week helps. Sometimes, we will both go buy food and eat dinner together while we FaceTime. Phone and video calls definitely vary from couple to couple, but it’s important to find the form of communication that best suits you and your significant other.
Planning
Making plans to see each other makes the distance seem shorter and gives both of you something to look forward to. Plan a day or weekend when you two can meet up and have a nice time together. If the distance is too far for it to be convenient, plan an actual date over Skype where you both do the same things or watch a movie over Skype. This gives both of you something to be excited about and a chance to spend time together.