Living with another person can be somewhat challenging, and genuinely getting along with them is far more difficult. Whether potluck or not, one might encounter trouble tolerating or getting along with a roommate for several reasons; however, it is possible to have a good experience. “I thought that we would get along but we wouldn’t hang out outside of our room”, said Hopper. Sharing a room with a stranger makes one very conscious of the way they live because of the noticeable differences. Filling out an agreement form, listing each one’s expectations and preferences, aids in establishing a sense of order and respect beforehand so that there are no surprises. Beloit College has a useful form that can be found here.
First year student, Grace Hopper, who lives in a triple in Foster Hall said, “Establishing boundaries early on helped a lot because we know what we expected of the others,” showing that resolving issues at the start, rather than waiting until something goes wrong and has a problem with something, is beneficial. Sitting down and communicating with one’s roommate, affirming that there are no issues at hand is a way to be a good roommate because at times one might not be aware that there are things bothering the other, for lack of expression. Attempting to resolve disagreements before requesting a change in roommate brings people closer. One becomes aware of their flaws because they unintentionally compare their way of doing things to their roommates’. It is troublesome to share space with someone, especially when one values their personal space and had never had to share a room or grow up with siblings. An increase in demand for “me time” because of the constant interaction with a roommate or two can be gained through sitting down and having that conversation with one’s roommate at the very beginning and expressing the kind of person one is and that “me time” is found to be essential personal time used to unwind and relax. It can be expressed at any point in time. Honesty and understanding is vital from both parties so that things are not misconstrued and people are not offended. Successful “me time” is achieved through the turning off one’s phone, isolating one’s self from outside distractions and reflecting in silence for a couple of minutes. The way one was raised has an effect on how they do things and what they tolerate. Having friends over is problematic when one party is not comfortable with having people they do not know over— especially without being given prior notice or visitation occurs at inconvenient times. It is understandable that most visits are not planned in advance and one wants to interact with their friends, therefore a way to avoid anyone’s invasion of privacy, one should ask the other for permission and be courteous of their guest’s stay, not taking advantage of visitation hours. Assuming that one’s roommate is OK with having people over loses a sense of trust and care for their opinion. Similarly, take schedules into consideration when choosing to sleep and wake up, keeping in mind that the roommate might not reflect your schedule. Recognizing that the roommate functions on a different schedule and refraining from denying them the right to get up, and make some noise makes it easier to get along because essentially, people have places to go and one would like the same respect in return.
“Seeing that we all have different personalities, I find myself as being more calm and a peacekeeper that helps decrease each other’s stress,” Hopper says, showing that different personalities between roommates counterbalances them; therefore, they do not have to be extremely similar to cohabitate successfully.
(Photos courtesy of Carolina Olivares)