If you know me, you know I hate the outdoors. Everything about the outdoors gives me the ick. Grass? I’m allergic. Trees? The leaves itch. The air? I have asthma. Bugs? Don’t even go there. So when my friend texted me to ask if I wanted to go camping for her birthday, an internal battle ensued over the need to be with my friend for her birthday and the need to protect my sanity. Long story short, I went camping for the first time.
I went with my friends Madi, Anna, and Piper to Cleburne State Park. Out of the four of us, I was the only one who had never been camping, and it showed. While they were pitching the tent and blowing up the air mattresses (which were a Godsend because I thought we were sleeping on the ground), I was setting our picnic table with the dinosaur table cloth after wiping it down with baby wipes. I wasn’t totally useless, though; Madi called me the “moral support” of the group. And I took that role very seriously. All three of them were encouraged and hydrated thanks to me, especially while we were hiking. Which, first of all, I have asthma, so I can’t breathe regularly, let alone while walking excessively over rocks. Luckily, Anna was great and held my inhaler for me while I trailed behind with my water bottle. Piper would hang back with me and we would get into little shenanigans like the children we are. She would hide behind the trees, and I would stare at the ground until Anna or Madi noticed. I also gave Piper a really big rock that she proceeded to throw off a small cliff, and it nearly hit a dude. After our hiking adventure (that I barely survived), it was time to make a fire to cook dinner. How long did it take to get the fire going? An hour. Did I help? Yes. I blew on the fire and it got bigger. Am I basically a Firebender now? Also yes. That night, we piled into the tent with our air mattresses and sleeping bags (and Madi’s Switch), but not before I decided to be adventurous and pee in the woods. There was an actual building with restrooms in it, but Piper and Anna had gone to do something, and I couldn’t leave Madi alone. It was the worst experience of my life and I will never pee in the woods again. Other than that, I had a good time camping for the first time. Would I do it again? Maybe, if I was with the right people like I was this first time. If you’re a city girl like me, and you hate the outdoors, get some good friends together, and go outside. It’s more fun than you think.
Tips for People Who Hate the Outdoors
- Bring pretty things that make it more bearable (i.e. a fun tablecloth, your favorite snacks, fairy lights for the tent).
- Go with people who like the outdoors and who understand that you dislike the outdoors.
- Bring a pocket knife or pepper spray for an extra level of security.
- Ask your friend who likes the outdoors for a packing list.
- Make sure your portable charger is fully charged.
- Bring baby wipes.
- Watch videos on how to start a fire and keep it going.