“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Anyone in a long-distance relationship knows and probably lives by this quote. Sure, it sounds nice, and you can think the fondness will make your relationship last, but the truth is, long-distance relationships aren’t that easy. The distance batters your heart, and thoughts continually pop into your head about making it work.
Apart from the difficulties of being separated from your love, we all know that long-distance relationships can and do work! It just takes a bit of sacrifice, motivation, and creativity.
Here are a few tips from experienced TCNJ girls in the same love game:
Communication is key!
Because our female genetics have given us the gift of gab, communication doesn’t seem like it would be a problem. But keeping a relationship alive by strictly communicating from a distance is a little harder than it seems. So, how do you go about doing this?
First, TCNJ senior Teri McCans says it’s about “establishing ground rules for communication.”
Eliminate the grey areas and start with a mutual understanding of what is expected from each other. When this is done, there should be no excuses from either side. Luckily we live in a time in which there are many options for communicating.
“It’s about talking as much as possible,” said TCNJ junior Amy Schratz.
Whether it is texting or talking on the phone, Schratz knows all about this aspect of relationships. Her long-distance relationship of almost two years has lasted on such methods of interaction.
Schratz’s advice to TCNJ girls in the same situation is to remember that you can’t do “the girl thing.” Saying we are fine when we clearly aren’t and pouting until our guy figures out what’s wrong with us isn’t going to work via texting, phone calls, and Skype.
Let’s face it; if guys have a hard time understanding girls in person, communicating via an electronic is just going to make it even more difficult. Schratz advises that you have to learn to discuss issues on the phone, as you would face-to-face.
TCNJ sophomore Monika Drozd knows all about the importance of communication within long-distance relationships. Drozd is about 400 miles away from her boyfriend, and in the beginning of her long-distance relationship she had very special circumstances- Christopher attends Virginia Military Institute.
“For his first six months freshmen year of college, he was not allowed to have any instant communication, so he had no phone, instant messenger, ichat, oovoo or Skype. The only thing he was allowed to use was e-mail,” said Drozd. Although it was most definitely a difficult time, Drozd and her boyfriend made it through the agonizing six months and continued their healthy relationship.
It’s about keeping it special.
Being far apart means puts more pressure on keeping your relationship special. So tend to that flame and start thinking of creative ways to keep that spark alive! Here are some ideas that girls at TCNJ do to help keep things interesting:
Virtual Date Night
Grab you laptops and sign onto Skype. Then turn on the TV and watch a movie or show together. Monika Drozd has even jazzed this idea up by eating dinner together via web-cam!
Practice your Penmanship
Instead of texting back and forth, put the U.S Postal Service to good use and send a letter. Hand-written letters are romantic and a way to really express how you feel. Plus- everyone likes to receive mail! Take this idea to the next level by sending care packages filled with little surprises every so often.
The bottom line is trust.
No matter how many times a day you talk, or how many letters you send, one thing is for sure- every relationship has to be built on trust in order for it to work. The miles between you and your love strain the faith of all romances. However, no matter how hard it is, trust is essential to the well being of your relationship.
Take it from Teri McCans, a TCNJ senior that knows the importance of trust.
“If there is any doubt in your mind about trust, don’t even bother,” McCans said. “So much relies on trusting that the person is going to be loyal.”
Long-distance relationships are hard enough as it is. The minute someone starts making false accusations, the difficulty level will skyrocket. Remember, trust isn’t something gained over night. It takes time, patience, and understanding.
“I would say that if you trust your boyfriend, there is nothing to worry about, but you both have to be willing to work at it. There will be surprises and things you don’t expect, but as long as you’re both understanding and willing to work with each other, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about,” said Drozd.
Although long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain, these tips are sure to make it easier in the long run. So stop worrying, and focus on what you can do at any distance.