Friends. Your girls, your pals, your bros, your BFFs — whatever you call them – they’re your friends. Whether you’re a returning sophomore looking to branch out from your freshman floor or a confused transfer student looking to start somewhere new, the thought of essentially throwing yourself back into the position of a friendless freshman can seem daunting.
My opportunity to rediscover my collegiate (I wasn’t a collegiette yet) opportunities and relationships was revived when I transferred to TCNJ as a sophomore. I was heartbroken having to leave behind the freshmen friends I had made at my previous school – the friends I thought I would have through the rest of my college career. But life, although unpredictable, “is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” (John Lennon). I had no choice but to live in the now, embracing the new challenges that awaited me at TCNJ.
So it began — and it was overwhelming and uncomfortable. There I was, trying to integrate myself into a group of people who already seemed to know everything about each other, attempting to navigate the boundary of being a potential new friend or just the annoying girl who keeps showing up. But through all the first encounters, lurking thoughts (Do they really want me here?!), and exchanges of phone numbers, I knew that friends could not be made and would not last if I chose to hide behind a façade of what I thought people wanted me to be. Every person has to, and will eventually, reach a certain point where they are comfortable with the individual they are and who they strive to be. So, I was just myself.
After those beginning months of adjusting to my class work and the overall TCNJ atmosphere, things started to turn. I engaged and opened myself to numerous clubs, activities and people. Those awkward encounters transformed into late nights, unproductive study groups, eventful car rides and countless laughs. Like all good things, friendship takes time. Every year dozens of new people come into your life, and you never know when one of those acquaintances will blossom into a wonderful friendship.
There is no secret formula to making friends second year — or really any time in life. I’ve done the “making college friends” shebang twice, and what I’ve learned, besides how many cheeseballs I can fit in my mouth and how competitive – dangerously so at times – Catchphrase can be, is that you will naturally gravitate towards others that appreciate your personality and those you want to be around, as well. All you have to be is yourself.
Today the friendships I have in college have taught me so much about life, love, sadness and joy. I would not want to replace this college journey with any other experience, and I firmly believe that the people you meet in college encourage you to evolve into the best person you can be.
When somebody asks you, “What’s your favorite thing about school?” your response will hopefully be something like, “My roommate – she’s my best friend!” Or, “My teammates! We always have a blast.” Friends are the answer. They complete our college experience, transcending it beyond the palpable elements of school to give real meaning to all those books, papers, parties and late nights that we couldn’t live without.
Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things. -Anonymous
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