When living in a culture where drinking and crazy parties are the norm on campuses, it is important to know how to stay safe. Here are some tips you can follow to make yourself less vulnerable to possible party dangers and protect your fellow collegiettes in the process!
Be aware of your surroundings – While we all want to go out and have a good time, be aware of what is going on around you. Keep an eye out for one another. Safety is a community responsibility. Know where you are, where the exits are, and where your friends are located at all times.
Trust your instincts – If you feel uncomfortable about a person, place or situation, leave immediately and go to a safe place, or find a friend. If you feel uncomfortable, do not feel guilty leaving a situation, for your own safety, just do it!
Be assertive. If someone is touching or talking to you in a way that is uncomfortable or unwelcomed, don’t be afraid to say so! Tell that person that what they are doing is making you feel uneasy and immediately leave that situation.
Always go out (and come back) with a group of friends. If possible, do not go anywhere without another person. Don’t let your friend go anywhere by his/herself. If you do go out alone and feel unsafe, travel to a well-lit, populated area. (Or on campus, utilize campus police escorts!) But if you do wonder off…
Let someone know where you will be and who you are with at all times. Tell your friend, significant other, parent or someone you can trust where you will be, who you are with, and when you are expected back. Try adopting a system: My roommate and I tell each other where we are going and when we will be back, if one does not come back, we call and text each other immediately to make s
ure everything is okay!
DO NOT leave your drink unattended. Only drink from un-opened containers or from drinks you have watched being made and poured. There are so many different types of drugs out there today, and you don’t want any of them to end up in your drink. Your best bet is to BYOB.
Be a good friend. Step in if you feel like your friend is susceptible to sexual victimization or if you feel like your friend is being aggressive towards an intimate partner or someone they just met (i.e. refusing to take “no” for an answer).
Keeping yourself safe is important, but safety is a responsibility of the community. If you see someone you know, or even don’t know, in a potential high-risk situation, act as a pro-active bystander. Walk up to the person and make sure they are okay and comfortable. Take them out of that situation if necessary. If you are not sure if a person is okay, ask. Better safe than sorry!
For more information on being a pro-active bystander and methods to intervene, please read How to Be a Green Dot
It is important to remember, and to reiterate, that making yourself more vulnerable is not a crime, but committing a violent act or assault is a crime. The steps listed above are ways to help make you less vulnerable, but it is important to realize that it is NEVER the fault of the victim or potential victim. As a culture, we need to shift our focus away from blaming the victim and onto blaming the perpetrator.
Remember: It does not matter how much one drinks, what one wears, how one acted. If a person is violated in anyway, it is NOT their fault.
Special thanks to Robbin Loonan, MA, DVS, LPC., Coordinator of TCNJ’s Anti Violence Initiatives, for providing some tips on this article!