At this point in my life, I can wholeheartedly say that I never want to hear, “Everything happens for a reason” again.
A part of me wonders whether I really believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I’m so latched on to the cliché that I’m forced to keep this thought in the back of my mind, but a part of me knows it isn’t true.
I would argue that rejection coincides with a pessimistic outlook on a situation. In all honesty, who wants to feel rejection? The terms don’t even really matter: whether a person, a job position, or an organization is the one to give you the boot, rejection SUCKS, in plain English.
My goal is to look at my personal rejections in a more positive light because really, what is the point of harping on something that you can never change?
I am not a person trained in motivational speaking and my opinions are simply pointers I wish I knew before feeling the ultimate rejection that comes with being a teenager.
I wouldn’t call these “perks” of rejection, but here is a list of the brutally honest truths of rejection, ways to deal with it, and points to keep in mind if and when you are rejected in the future:
1. This isn’t the last time.
And I’m not even being pessimistic this time. It’s really important to be realistic and come to terms with the fact that people are not always going to reciprocate the same feelings, and jobs are often going to hire someone with only one year of more work experience than you. This first initial pain that comes with feeling rejected will prepare you for similar feelings in the future.
2. It’s okay to cry.
There is no reason not to cry. You’re sad, you’re angry, your mind is filled with millions of thoughts: What went wrong? Why is that person better than me? I really thought I had this. I really wanted this, and I did my best. Sometimes, the only person that you need to impress is yourself. Once you have put your best foot forward, the results are often in the hands of other people and completely out of your control. So let the tears roll, but do not allow yourself to dwell on this feeling for more than a few hours (or a few days, depending on the situation).
GIF source.
3. Do NOT blame yourself.
We often try to take a more mature stance when feeling rejected, but self-blame is absolutely not the answer. I cannot emphasize the importance of avoiding the “What did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough?” mentality.
4. Do NOT bring your anger to social media.
It is so easy to start retweeting how much life sucks, sharing articles about why things aren’t going right for you based on your zodiac sign, or ranting on your Finsta with a crying selfie, and believe me, I have been guilty of all of the above. But what did I get out of it? A couple of friends commenting “:(“ and probably looking very immature. And in the end, these tactics did not take the feeling of rejection away. So do not resort to your favorite social media apps to feel better. Call your friends from home, cry to your roommate, talk to your parents, and accept the fact that this feeling will seem irrelevant in a few days.
GIF source.
5. Be happy for those around you.
This may be my most important pointer. Do not take your anger out on those who care about you or those who got the position you wanted. Jealousy is ugly, and being green with envy is even uglier. Is it acceptable to think “I wish I was in their position”? Absolutely, because it’s the truth. But, watching your family and friends succeed should fill you with happiness that overpowers the anger felt by rejection.
6. Here we go again with the clichés….
Everything happens for a reason, and yes, I cringed as I typed that out. However, clichés are often clichés for a reason: because they hold a good amount of truth to them. Do you really want to date someone who doesn’t really like you back? Is that job really the place for you? Is your life actually over because of this one rejection? And maybe, in the beginning, the answers to some of these questions are “yes” and that is okay. But if we allow our rejections to define us, then there is no room to improve and to, of course, thrive.
GIF source.