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Let’s recap! A person’s love language is the way you want another person to love you and the way you want to love another person. Your love language is your building block to the type of relationship you are trying to grow. Everyone has their own unique love language that is the key to their heart! In total, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. I am here to guide you on the dos and don’ts of each love language to try and help you find what could help you find your match!

Words of Affirmation Dos and Don’ts

DO make sure it’s genuine. Never fake a compliment or force yourself to give a compliment because I can promise you that the person receiving the compliment will know if it is fake. Be light and free in the words you are giving out. 

DON’T say the words “I love you” if you do not mean them. Love is such a powerful word and should never be passed around like it means absolutely nothing. There is a HUGE difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Make it known which one you feel so that there is no confusion between you and your partner.

DO send them messages or love letters that show in writing how much you care for them. Love letters are all the rage and need to be given out much more. Words are so important and can impact your relationship in such a powerful way. 

DON’T say words out of anger or spite. When you’re angry, the last thing you should do is lash out and say things you do not mean—especially to a person that words are so crucial too. 

Quality Time Dos and Don’ts

DO experience many things together! Whether it’s going on a long hike, an extravagant date, or simply sitting together and enjoying each other’s company, the person whose love language is quality time will appreciate you 10x more.

DON’T be distracted by other things besides your partner when you are spending time with them. Be present and alert and give them all the attention they deserve!

DO really listen to what your partner has to say when you are spending time together! Find out what they love to do so that your time together is that much more special.

DON’T cancel on your partner. When you have plans to be together make sure you follow through on those plans. No one likes a flake!

Acts of Service Dos and Don’ts

DO help them not only on the big things in their life, but even the small things. All of these small acts of service can really turn into the biggest things, and what your partner will truly remember!

DON’T take back the promises you say to your partner. With this type of love language, it is important to follow through with everything you are saying to your partner. A promise is a major commitment and one that should never be broken when it comes to this love language. Keep your word!

DO surprise your partner! Be out of the box and spontaneous in planning dates like a long get-away weekend together. It is fun to live on the edge and be wild and free because that is exactly what this love language calls for!

DONT use words instead of actions. You know the saying: “Actions speak louder than words!” Well, this pertains to this love language pretty accurately. Your partner wants to see you put in the work to keep your relationship healthy and happy. Never dish out empty promises.

Gifts Dos and Don’ts

DO put meaning behind the gifts you are giving. This love language does not accept gifts that have no effort or little meaning behind them. There is no need to spend hundreds of dollars on a gift that means nothing to your relationship. Instead, make or find a gift that ties your relationship together and makes it stronger. 

DON’T be materialistic in the gifts you are giving. A diamond is not always a girl’s best friend! A love letter will do just fine sometimes. 

DO be spontaneous in giving gifts. Create little gifts that make you think of your partner, and surprise them with them as often as possible. 

DON’T make giving out gifts an obligation. Giving your partner a gift should never feel forced. Instead, it should make your partner feel loved and feel as if you were truly thinking of them when you thought to give them this gift. 

Physical Touch Dos and Don’ts

DO be intimate with your partner. Intimacy comes in many different forms. Be touchy with your partner by laying with them for hours while watching a movie or simply by holding their hand.  

DON’T be uncomfortable with showing PDA. Now, I am not saying to make out in the middle of a public place, but don’t be afraid to hold their hand or kiss them in front of the world because that person never wants to feel as if they are embarrassed to be around them. 

DO give them love often and very frequently. Never question if it is the right time to hold their hand or give them a hug or a kiss because this love language needs attention constantly.

DON’T pull back when they go to give you affection. Always return the embrace of a hug and truly mean it when giving them the love they are giving to you!

Emma Pascarella is a junior attending The College of New Jersey. Emma is majoring in Journalism with a minor in Psychology in hopes to be a broadcast journalist when she graduates! Emma is also a member on the women’s soccer team at The College of New Jersey. XOXO
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