Dear Ryan,
My friends always like to take pictures every time we go out. But posing for photos makes me shy and feels fake. What are your thoughts when you see girls posing in photos on social media?
If it feels fake, it probably is. In regards to feeling shy, there is a balance. Shyness can hold you back from doing things you are called to do and it can prevent you from being the best you. But more about feeling fake. When people are fake, other people usually can tell. If you’re in a moment and it feels fake, just roll with it, but acknowledge it was fake, confront it and be real.
Personally, when I see girls posing in photos on social media, a couple things go through my mind. They’re usually along the lines of “that looks like it was fun!” or “that’s cool” but there are definitely those times when I just have to say, “oh man” and shake my head. It’s those times when I see girls who are vibrant, exciting and interesting individuals hiding the beauty of their true self and personality to fit in with a mold that our culture has embraced as beautiful. For example, why do girls insist on putting their hands on their hips and sticking out their butts as far as they can? Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about because we all have seen it.
There is nothing more attractive then a girl who is confident and doesn’t fake it. A girl who is self-aware and who doesn’t feel the need to pose and be fake. She isn’t self-righteous or stuck up about it, she’s just being herself. She just knows how to be her and that’s awesome.
I think as a whole, both guys and girls, but especially girls, take too many pictures. Just think about it, when we’re in those great moments with friends or family or even witnessing something truly remarkable, the first thing we always do is go for our phones and start taking pictures and posting on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. We feel this desire to document every second of every day of our life for the whole world to see. Why do we do that? The time that we spend reaching for our phones and posting on social media is time that could be spent actually enjoying and savoring those moments with friends and family or that stunning sunset. Moreover, I encourage girls and everyone to try to unplug from social media a bit. Yes, social media is great and has revolutionized the way we communicate, but it can also be detrimental to our friendships and lives if we don’t practice moderation and balance.
So girls, just be you. Stop worrying about what the girl next to you is doing or what some guy might think. Trust me, when you just start being you and being true to yourself you’ll find a lot more peace and contentment and frankly, I think its far more attractive. So enjoy those times with others. Yes, take pictures, have fun, but don’t take too many, and when you do keep it classy and dignified. Be real ladies; stop posing! That said, be silly, be goofy, be yourself and have fun doing it.
One love,
Ryan