An Open Letter to the Housing List Rejects*
Dearest wayfaring collegiette,
Our condolences are with you as you mourn the loss of childlike belief and trust in all that is good. Gone forever is the mistaken assumption that TCNJ actually cares about where you lay your pretty little head. In its place is a cynical view of the world, not through rose-tinted glasses, but dark, clouded and cracked ones, the kind only found on the bespectacled target of a fifth-grade dodgeball game.
We understand the housing gods did not smile down upon you last week. In fact, they so violently struck down with a fate that left you dormless that your senses are still reeling from shock.
Take it from Shaun Fitzpatrick, a collegiette on a quest to reconnect with nature, spurred on by a sudden lack of housing courtesy of TCNJ. “Like Huckleberry Finn, TCNJ cannot ‘sivilize’ me, and I believe that they have finally come to realize that- and responded by not giving me housing.”
“And so I, too, will light out for the territory, living off the land and, possibly, setting up some sort of raft contraption on the lake. With nothing but a few belongings wrapped up in a handkerchief and tied to a stick, I will embrace the spirit of freedom and adventure next year as I reconnect with the outdoors.”
Smart Aleck Advice
In the same vein and in an attempt to assuage your pain, Her Campus is here to offer some alarmingly intelligent advice for the not-so-lucky room seekers.
1. Housing said no bed in Centennial for you. Well, why let that stop you from enjoying the stunning views of the lake and its honky inhabitants? Build a treehouse behind ABE, you know, in the tree with the tire swing.
2. Embrace your inner nomad and roam campus carting your belongings from one friend’s dorm to the next. Once you’ve exhausted all the contacts in your phone, even that guy from that party that one night and the girl who sat behind you in Chemistry freshman year, go back to the beginning of the alphabet. Only when you feel you have really worn out your welcome, start checking out the common areas in the residence halls. We recommend the Townhouse and Apartment lounges.
3. Become an e-board member of a club, so you’ll have the keys and can sleep in the office.
4. Find an empty classroom in Forcina. Nobody actually takes classes in there anymore, do they?
5. The Library is practically your home away from home. Hunker down in a third floor study room – they are already conducive to all-nighters – or clear off a shelf of books to make a bed.
6. Try hitting up your favorite Eickhoff worker for a spare bedroom. Larry would probably make a great roomie.
7. Claim sudden religious enthusiasm as an excuse to sleep in the Spiritual Center.
8. Two words: Science Complex. The possibilities are endless: the Greenhouse, the Planetarium, the bridge — did you even know we had any of these places?
9. You have thought about it. Don’t lie. How about going all George of the Jungle and take up shop in the Bamboo Forest?
10. If all else fails, set up your housing (the cardboard box) outside of ResLife and protest the injustice.
Now go play Goldilocks and see what is just right for you.
Love,
Her Campus
* The above recommendations are intended for humerous purposes only. In no way does Her Campus promote or endorse any such shenanigans. We wash our hands of the repercussions if one is foolhardy enough to heed the “advice.” Please kids, don’t try this at home.
Intelligent Advice
In all seriousness, losing out on on-campus housing is not the end of the world.
For now, Ryan Farnkopf, Director of Housing, advises most students who are unsure about how to proceed to scope out off-campus housing while signing up for the wait list.
“Keep your options open, and feel free to call our office in the late spring or summer for updates,” he said.
That is exactly what Her Campus news editor and new transfer Allison Shadel did last spring, when she learned she did not make the cut-off. “I called housing EVERYDAY until I got a room. I’m not sure if I was actually next on the waiting list or if they were sick of hearing from me, but either way, it worked!”
It’s too early to predict, but preliminary numbers hint most students might get an on-campus space by the end of summer or beginning of fall. Remember, Housing is not in the business of making predictions, so check in once in a while and keep your fingers crossed.
“We recognize this may be frustrating, but rest assured we are working to deplete our wait list as quickly as we can,” Farnkopf concluded.
For our rising sophomores and juniors, there are some ways to obtain guaranteed housing. Blog editor Sarah Scholz had a sure-fire bed through her involvement in the Residence Hall Association. Other clubs on campus also boast priority housing, so if you are concerned about next year, investigate your options.
In the meantime, heed the advice of our adventurous staff writer Shaun, “I’m hoping a sense of humor will be sufficient to combat my all-consuming panic of not having a definite roof over my head.”
Us too.