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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TCNJ chapter.

After my 20th birthday came and passed, thoughts on my life and what I am doing began to kick in and my mind began to frenzy. I was so worried with the future and the person I’m going to be that I forgot to take a step back and look at how far I’ve came. I have experienced 20 years of friendships, experiences, and lessons learned! Sometimes we get so caught up in the future that we forget to look to our past, what we’ve become, and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. 

1. Family first

20 years is a long time, but that time included so many angsty years where getting a phone call from your mother was the worst feeling ever, hugging your brother was awkward, and telling your dad about your love life was down right embarrassing. However, the bond of a family can’t be broken. Who can you really say has been there with you through all of the good and the bad times? That’s right – the fam. It may have taken some longer to realize than others, but family is always first.

2. Friendships come and go 

Loosing a friend is horrible – don’t get me wrong – but when one door closes another one opens. Life goes on, and people come into your life at all different stages. It is unnecessary to go ballistic when a friendship simply isn’t working out. The good ones will stick, the important ones will always care, and the negative ones should be let go. 

3. Relationships don’t define you

Honestly, this one is a bit harder to come to terms with. Relationships are so meaningful and important when they are going well, but if someone doesn’t want to be with you anymore, know and remember your worth. You are who you are and no other person defines who that is. If the person you were in a relationship with leaves your life, you are still the whole person you were before you met them, and I promise you, you can be an even better person without them. 

4. Stop and smell the roses

Life is hectic and ever-evolving. It’s easy to get caught up in what you’re doing tonight, tomorrow, and the next day. However, you can’t forget to stop and enjoy the little things. Smell the roses, take a picture of the sunset, blast your favorite song and sing into your hairbrush. Those little moments are pure bliss. 

5. NOW is the time

You’re twenty. You have lived two full decades on this planet. It’s likely that you know who you are as a person and you know what you want. Now is the time to go after your goals, desires, and needs. There is no better time to chase your dreams than now.   

Kyra Mackesy graduated The College of New Jersey with a BA in Journalism and Professional Writing and a minor in Criminology in 2019. While at TCNJ, she was an active member of their Her Campus chapter, holding a wide array of positions: President and Campus Correspondent, Editor-in-Chief, Senior Editor, Marketing and Publicity Director, and Social Media Manager. She loved seeing her chapter grow throughout her four years in college, and will remain an active Her Campus Alumni.
Cait is the Co-Editor-In-Chief at HCTCNJ, and describes her life with two simple words: organized chaos.