What Your Graphing Calculator Says About You


Welcome to college, it’s a terrible place. You’re forced to do math. Even when your major has nothing to do with math.

If you’re a college student, you probably own a graphing calculator from your high school math classes. Thought you could get away from math? Think again.

I’m going to tell you what your graphing calculator says about you.


Black with no stickers

  • You’re a classic, no games kind of person. In this household, we save money and don’t buy calculators that you have to charge just so you can get it in another color. Give me some batteries and give me my calculator. No frills, no shenanigans. Just a basic calculator.

Black with stickers

  • You wish your parents bought you a colored one. However, your parents said no, and you couldn’t fight back. Instead, you decided to put stickers on it to add a bit of pizzazz. Your laptop is now covered in stickers.


  • You tried really hard in high school. If your teacher didn’t give you over a 92 on an assignment, you visited them in tutoring. You don’t need to take your sociology final, but you’re going to take it anyway to bring your grade up, even though both a 90 and a 99 get you a 4.0. On the first day of classes, your write “going over the syllabus” in your planner. Now, you’re probably the one person who reminds the professor about an assignment or deadline that they forgot. Your class is probably going to bully you in the GroupMe. You’re going to call your parents and cry.


  • You’re a guy who is very insecure about his masculinity. You don’t hug your male friends, and you probably let everyone know how much you lifted at your gym sesh. Or maybe you just bought it on clearance.


  • Chaotic energy. You probably have punched a couple holes in your wall and took PE too seriously. Your name is probably Kyle. You order chicken strips and fries at a Mexican restaurant. You use three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. You think you can turn your underwear inside out and wear it. You probably pick up dirty socks from the floor, smell them, and then decide they’re still good to wear.


  • You’re a girl who doesn’t like pink. Taylor Swift? Your arch nemesis. You’re not like other girls. You have a pair of Doc Martens on your Pinterest board and think Tame Impala is a super indie band that no one knows. Tongue Tied by Grouplove is your song of the century. You’re surprised that I know it.


  • You stole it from school. You probably were in detention a few times. You never did your math homework but pretended to look for it every time the teacher checked for it. You have a Chegg account now, but you don’t pay for it. You Q-dropped an online class, and you never show up to group projects. You don’t know what your professors look like because you never show up to class. You tailgate every football game though. Your hobbies include: stealing forks from the MSC because you’re out of them at home, asking people to lend you money and never paying them back, and putting too much gel in your hair.


  • You think you have a great sense of style. Your music taste? Unparalleled. You probably iron your clothes everyday and make sure they’re creased properly. You carry around wet wipes and don’t have a child. You Windex your mirror every time you see a single spec on it. You will argue with anyone about anything, even though you have no reason to believe what you believe. You probably tag yourself in your own Instagram pictures.


  • You probably have eight older siblings. Your parents said, “just use your brothers.” You started your first job on your sixteenth birthday. You drink a lot of coffee. You’re actually pretty hardworking. You might be the mom friend. You probably know how to do your taxes and change a tire. 10/10 would trust you to keep my plants alive. All none of them because they died.

TI Inspire

  • You’re 19 and probably drive an Audi or a BMW. You think Travis Scott is the greatest artist of our generation, and you can’t go anywhere without mentioning your Lulu leggings. You love flexing all the capabilities of your fancy TI Inspire, but can’t do basic multiplication without using it. You think Drake is speaking directly to you. You also have a MacBook Pro but don’t do anything besides online shop during class. Either that, or you’re just a tired engineering major that’s trying to do their best.